The House That Built Me
by Livybug
Summary: Jace Herondale is stuck and feels like he needs to start anew and plant some roots. He finds himself in the small town of Augusta, Montana. The choices he's made end up being thrown in his face when he meets Clary, a counrty girl who throws his whole world into a tail spin. He's faced with two choices: Stay on his course and live life as he always has or Clary. R&R PLZ
1. It Doesn't get any Countrier than this

**O.K. loves, here is the beginning of my New story. I won't chat too much. I'll just let you read. **

**************************____****I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.**

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**Chapter 1**

If you asked me four years ago if I thought I'd be where I am today, I'd say there'd be no way in hell. I was lucky to get into college let alone finish it. I had one reason for my success and her name is Kaelie Bennett. I owe her so much that I feel I'll never be able to pay back my debt to her. She filled a darkness inside me where I thought I would never see light and she made me whole. When she told me she could get me a job back in her hometown of Augusta, Montana and that she didn't want to lose me because college was over, I couldn't refuse.

"I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, Jace. They're going to love you, just like I do," she says as her big green eyes twinkle at me and she smiles. I take her hand and kiss the back of it, but have no words. I've never left New York. In fact, I was terrified of leaving because it's all I've ever known, and now I was being whisked away to a completely different world. LaGuardia airport is abuzz with people trying to make their flights and I force myself to sit here instead of running for the door. I need to stop running, I've been doing it my whole life and now I have to go somewhere and put down some roots.

I'm not sure if this is the right choice but it seems like the logical one. Kaelie's dad owns a real-estate business and had a friend at the bank that got me a job as a loan officer. I hadn't planned on sitting in front of a desk for the rest of my life, but it was a job and a fresh start. A short lady with dark hair pulled into a tight bun calls over the intercom that we can now board our flight. My stomach flutters as Kaelie stands and I give her a tight lipped smile before getting out of my seat and heading for the tunnel that will begin my journey in this new life.

I've never been on a plane before. I'm not afraid of heights or flying but I don't like the stuffy feeling inside. The seats are too close together and the air is stale. I already want off this tin can with wings but we find our seats and plop down. A voice rings around us and I spot the source. It's a short blond girl dressed in a dark blue suit. She looks pleasant and her voice seems to calm me enough so that I loosen my grip on the seat dividers. She tells us where the exits are while pointing in the direction she indicated and then tutors us on how to fasten our seatbelts while another woman in a blue suit walks the length of the aisle with one in her hand. I already beat them to that, but I note the exits just in case I need to bolt.

Kaelie's hand covers mine and I tense. "Relax, we'll be home in no time," she whispers. Her words don't make me feel any better but I sit back in my seat and close my eyes thinking about one in particular. Home…there hasn't been a place I considered home in a very long time. My parents died in a car accident when I was fifteen. I was shuffled between family members until I was eighteen because I wasn't really the best child to deal with. I had anger issues and was diagnosed with severe depression after my parents deaths, two things none of my family members could seem to handle. Oh yeah, I'm fucked up, but at least my mother and father didn't leave me empty handed. They had some very large life insurance policies and my father owned an investment firm, which I hold the majority of stock in at the moment.

Kaelie knows nothing about my money and I like it that way. It's not that I don't trust her, but I like it to be my little secret. Her family has money growing on trees anyway so it's not like it would matter to her. It's very safe for me to say that I would never have to work a day in my life if I didn't want to, but I would give it all back to have my parents again. They were my home and when they died they took the very essence of what home was with them. I don't know if I'll ever find that again.

I look to my right and see the pavement beneath the plane blur, then to my left where Kaelie sits with her nose stuck to her Kindle. She really is an amazing person, and I'm lucky to have her. She's my best friend and knows all of my story, but loves me anyway. My hand falls on top of the pocket of my jeans, where the object I have hidden there burns a whole in it. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this, but it seems like the logical thing to do. It's the next step in our relationship, and for as much of my shit as she's put up with, I feel obligated to do it.

I sigh and lean my head back. My mind hasn't shut off at all in the last week. I keep telling myself that there is nothing left for me in New York, but I feel like I'm leaving them behind. I'll never be able to sit on the grass next to my father's stone and talk to him, tell him about what's going on in my life. I'll never again sift through the dirt to find the shiniest rock to let my mother know I was there, that I hadn't forgotten, and it bothered me. I suddenly started to feel claustrophobic and had to take deep breaths before my panic fully set in.

"Jace?" Kaelie's hand finds my knee and I turn to meet her worried gaze. "Are you O.K?"

"I'll be fine," I nod and force the best smile I can. The plane lurches up and my ears pop as we ascend into the air. There's no turning back now. I have to accept my decision because the plane isn't going to turn back just because I want it to. I lace my fingers with Kaelie's and squeeze, trying to reassure her that I'm O.K. and she smiles back accepting my answer. I try to sleep on the plane but I'm too tall and my legs are cramped so it hurts my neck to lay my head back. I tear through a magazine trapped in the pouch of the seat in front of me instead.

"Something to drink or a bag of peanuts maybe?" I look up to find the blond from earlier with a smile from ear to ear. She's prettier up close and I pause looking for the right words to say.

"I'm fine, thank you," Kaelie answers and goes back to her book.

"How about you?" The flight attendant bats her eyes and smiles wider, if that's possible.

"Something strong," I say. "Jim, Jack, Johnny, or Jose, I'm not picky." Her smile falters just a tad and from the corner of my eye I see that Kaelie's eyes are the size of silver dollars. She stares at me as the blond hands me a small bottle with tan liquid and a glass with ice in it. I thank her and she moves on.

"Jace," Kaelie hisses.

"What?" I don't look at her while I unscrew the cap and poor the liquor into the glass. It's two shots at most, but it'll be enough to give me a warm buzz that will hopefully help with my sleep issue. Just to let you know, I'm not an alcoholic. I rarely drink, now anyways. Kaelie isn't a fan and I manage to keep the boozing to a minimum.

"Never mind," she shakes her head and I take a sip. It's Jack and it burns my throat on the way down. I suck my teeth and let out a hiss until I can feel it hit my stomach. God I needed that. The rest of the trip is quiet except for the crying baby two rows back that the mother gave up on about an hour ago. Funny how the strange encounters in life can help you make huge decisions for your future. Just by being on this plane and hearing that child cry, I have decided that I don't want to have children.

The best part of the plane ride was seeing the sunset amongst the clouds. It's so much prettier up here than it is from the ground. The colors are vibrant as orange turns to pink and pink to purple. We land at the Great Falls International Airport about five hours after leaving New York even though the clock tells me it was only three. This airport is much smaller than the one back home and it doesn't take long to get our bags and head toward this new world I'm entering. There are three people standing in front of the door with a sign that says: WELCOME HOME KAELIE AND JACE! It warms my heart that I've been included, and for the first time since sitting in the airport back home, I feel like I may have made the right choice.

Kaelie drops her bag at my feet and hurls herself into her mother's arms. I'd guess the woman to be in her fifties but she doesn't look a day over thirty. Her hair is a bright blond glow that reflects perfectly in the sunlight, just like Kaelie's, and she's skinny as a rail. I almost don't see the tall man with salt and pepper hair and broad shoulders approach me as I stand there trying to bask in the glow of her family, but it just doesn't quite reach me. His hand claps my shoulder and he says, "You must be Jace." I smile and nod.

"Yes, Sir." He holds his hand out to me and I take it.

"I'm Jefferson Bennett, Kaelie's father, you can call me Jeff. I've heard a lot about you. I'm glad we finally get to meet." Our hands move up and down as I search for the next thing to say. I feel like we're making a business deal and I'm not sure why.

"I'm glad too. Kaelie talks about you guys all the time. I'm just happy I'll have faces to put to all the names now." His arm stretches across my shoulders as he guides me closer to Kaelie, her mother, and the third person, who I'd imagine is the big brother she always complained about.

"Jace, meet my wife, Evelyn," Kaelie pulls back and her mom steps forward to wrap me in a hug that feels familiar but I can't pinpoint why.

"Call me Evy, Jace. It's so good to meet you." I smile and nod because I don't know what else to do.

"And this is our son, Jefferson Jr." It shouldn't surprise me that he named his son after himself. Kaelie's brother is almost my height and his hair is sandy brown.

"Call me Jay," he says and holds out his hand. "With two Jefferson's in the house it gets a little confusing." I wanna look at him and say, "No shit" but that wouldn't be right so I chuckle. Jay and I have one thing I common that I know of: Football, but it's not a topic I wanna drudge up at the moment. Jeff and Jay take our bags and usher us out to their family vehicle, which just happens to be a Cadillac Escalade. The air out here is so crisp and clean it nearly hurts my chest, but I love it.

"Better get comfortable, we've got about an hour drive home," Jeff calls back to us after buckling his seatbelt. An hour? I was never told about an hour drive after a five hour flight. Kaelie is wedged between me and Jay looking less than enthused. I've never seen cows grazing in the field before or horses running wild with their manes and tails flying in the wind. Those are things you just don't see in Brooklyn. The closest I've ever been to a horse was the carousel in Astroland on Coney Island.

The mountains rolled over the countryside in a vision I'd only seen in pictures. The soft green of the grass meeting the hard gray of the mountains, and the fluffy clouds hovering over white mountain peaks was a beautiful sight. I was vaguely aware of Kaelie's head resting on my shoulder as I peered out the window. Gone were the skyscrapers and taxi cabs, to be replaced with rolling rocks dotted with shrubbery. I must have dozed off at some point because Kaelie is shaking me awake and the Cadillac is no longer moving.

I get out and stretch my legs. I've sat so long that all I really want to do is go for a five mile run at this point. The house in front of me reminds me of one that might be found on an old eighteen hundreds cotton plantation in New Orleans, only much, much newer. It's white and the twin spires on either side of the great oak door hold up a balcony. A porch surrounds the entire front and it wouldn't surprise me if it continued around the back and spread out into a patio. I'm flanked by Kaelie and Evy as I'm led into the house.

It's nothing short of amazing inside. In the foyer, mosaic tiles line the floor in the pattern of the sun and moon and a giant crystal chandelier hangs overhead. To my left is a mahogany door that I'm told leads to the kitchen, to my right the space opens up into a grand living room decorated with over -sized furniture and T.V. covering one whole wall. Ahead of me is a double staircase leading to what I assume are the bedrooms and nestled between each path leading up is the patio door. I shouldn't be surprised that there is a pool out there. I feel a little as if I've stepped into the Stepford house.

"Come on, let's take our stuff up and then get some food," Kaelie tugs my arms and I stumble for the steps but manage to keep up with her. Inside her room, which by the way, is bigger than our apartment back in New York, there is a queen sized, four poster, canopy bed with an oak nightstand of each side. The dresser to match the nightstands sits against the wall across from the bed. "This door leads to the en suit bathroom," she says pointing to the right, "and that one," now pointing to the left, "Is the walk in closet."

I stand there with my mouth open. Sure, I expected a nice house, but nothing of this magnitude. This house had to be worth…Millions. As I said before, I knew her family had money, but not on this scale. I could do this. I could live here and call this home, right? I was sure as hell gonna try. Kaelie stepped up to me and linked her fingers behind my back with a smile. "You'll love it here, I just know you will. We won't have to stay here long. We'll find our own place soon. I just want to get settled in first, make sure you get comfortable at the bank and I'll start at the real-estate firm with daddy on Monday."

"I don't wanna rely on your dad for everything, Kaelie."

"I know, this is just until we get on our feet." We'd had this discussion over and over before we left. I wanted to make my own way and not ride on the backs of our father's money. Kaelie had defeated me with the comment 'a little help never hurt anybody.' Did I blame her? No, but I didn't want to be in debt to anyone either.

"I think we'll throw a party!" Evy said in a sing-song voice. "Everyone in town will be happy you're finally home, Kay. And Jace, you'll get to meet the most upstanding people in the area." She winked and leaned more over the door frame as she whispered, "It's good for business."

"Thanks, Mom." Kaelie smiled and pushed her out the door. Turning to me she said, "Are you hungry? We could go to the kitchen and have Murielle make some sandwiches."

"Murielle?"

"Yeah, she's the maid," Kaelie shrugs.

"Your parents have a maid?"

"Of course." To see the look on her face and know that she felt there was nothing wrong with what she was saying made my stomach churn.

"I'm tired, I think I'll just lie down," I say. She smiles and kisses me on the cheek before leaving me alone in her room. I let myself fall onto the bed with a gust of air rushing out of my body and run my fingers through my hair. What have I gotten myself into? This was not at all the life I expected to get wrapped up in. Sure, it's not a bad life, but it's not the one I had planned. I don't want someone else's parents planning out my day, or dictating where I work and who I associate with. I want to make my own footprint in the sand, be my own person. That's what my dad would have wanted. He never would have accepted me into the company without first thinking that I could pave my own destiny. I found myself spiraling into sleep and being haunted by nightmares. I felt as if I was locked in a cage and being suffocated by life.

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**_Alrighty...good start? Lemme know!_**

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**_Review/Fave/Alert it..._**

**_So im going to do things a little different with the way i give out snippets with this one. The chapters will be named after country songs. The first reviewer to give me the artist that sang the song will get a preview from the next chapter in a PM. For this first one i want the artist who sang the TITLE of the story...The House That Built Me...AND the chapter title, It Doesn't Get Any Countrier Than This. GO!_**


	2. Friends in Low Places

**So I originally wasn't going to post this until tomorrrow, but I'll be crazy busy and I don't want to forget. So, here it is. Thanks to those of you who reviewed and I have to say... Quite a few of you are not liking the fact that Kaelie is nice...lol, all I can say to that is, keep reading ;)**

******__****I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.**

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**Chapter 2**

My first week of work was brutal. I managed to approve one person for a loan they were using to build a new barn. A barn of all things, not a new car, not a house, a barn! I did learn one thing in my week here; people don't usually work the regular nine to five job. Most are ranchers who make a living off of cattle and pigs. There were those who make a living off of their small business but they were few and far between.

"Jace," I looked up from my desk full of paperwork to find my boss, Mr. Blackthorn peering around my door.

"Yeah," I said and crossed my hands atop the papers.

"I'm gonna need you to head on down to Morgenstern ranch tomorrow to assess the property. Val's behind on his loan payments and the bank's gonna be filing for foreclosure soon." Apparently my job description failed to outline the duties properly. When had I also become a property assessor?

"O.K," I gave him a tight smile and nodded.

"I'll get you the paperwork in the morning. It'll have the address on it." I nodded again and then he was gone. I managed to finish up the pile of work on my desk by the time five O'clock rolled around. I wasn't ready to go back to Kaelie's house yet, so I decided I'd check out the Augusta night life. That consisted of one bar, the Buckhorn Bar. It was a white building that looked to me like a cross between a house and a barn. Inside the counter sat directly in front you and tables were scattered around the room.

From the ceiling hung old wagon wheel wells and along the rafters and wall were bleached deer skulls and horns, mounted fish and other wild animals mixed with the advertisements for different beer brands. I hitched myself up to the bar, unbuttoned my suit jacket, crossed my arms on the hard surface and waited to be served. A man with dark hair, and green eyes like a cat walked up to me. He was wearing a pair of Levis, the favored brand of jeans in these parts, and a black leather vest. I also took note of the large sparkling belt buckle in the shape of big red lips. They really made stuff like that? I lived in New York; this shouldn't surprise me at all. "What'll it be, handsome?" He asked placing a coaster in front of me.

"Jack coke," I answered with a wary look. This coming from a man in such a small town blew my mind. He just smiled.

"You're new around here," he smiled and I nodded. "You've got a lot to learn." He shook his head and handed me the tumbler of alcohol. "So," he pressed his palms into the bar to hold his weight and said, "What brings ya out here?"

"My girlfriend's from here."

"Oh, yeah? Who's that?" There was a squeal from across the room and some hoots and hollers.

"Kaelie Bennet," I mumbled, but his attention was pulled away.

"Magnus! You're man's getting a lap dance!" A girl with long dark hair yelled and clapped her hands. A small girl with red hair was climbing on top of a man, a man I recognized. His name was Alec and he worked at the bank with me. We hadn't had a chance to talk and he seemed like the quiet type.

"I think she needs another shot!" The bartender called back.

"Alec may not make it home if you feed her more," another voice called. This guy had dark shaggy hair and black rimmed glasses. I was a little envious, they, at least, were having fun.

"You know them?" I asked spinning back round to face the bartender. He shook his head and smirked.

"Most days. I'm Magnus, by the way."

"Jace," I chuckled and took another swig of my Jack. It was a good two hours, a few more Jack cokes, and a lot more laughter from the other side of the bar before the red head who mounted Alec slammed her hand on the bar next to me making me jump.

"Mags," she slurred and giggled. "I need another shot!"

"Do not call me that," Magnus said.

"Oh, get over yourself and give me another shot," she pushed back.

"You and Jose are gonna have a good night," Magnus chimed as he poured her a small glass.

"Simon and Izzy taking you home?"

"Nope!" she shook her head and downed the glass. "I brought my horse. She knows the way home and Mel can't get me for a DUI if I'm not driving," she finished and slammed the glass down, rim first, on the bar. "So," she said turning to me. "Who are you?" I took a swig of my Jack and lift my eyebrow. This one didn't play around. She just came right out with it.

"Jace," I said.

"And where are you from, Jace? We don't get a lot of out-of-towners around here."

"New York."

"City boy," she sounded surprised. "And what in the Holy Hell would make you want to come here of all places?"

"Kaelie Bennet," Magnus answered for me.

"Oh, dear God," The red head pressed her palm to her forehead and wobbled side to side. I was about to reach out and grab her to avoid her falling over, but her hand clamped down on my arm and she looked up at me. She had the deepest green eyes I've ever seen and freckles dusted her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. Her face was flushed from the Jose and my thoughts automatically went to other ways that would cause that lovely reaction to her face. "May you rest in peace," she sighed.

I was in the middle of cursing myself out for thinking about her that way when she said this. I did a double take at her and asked, "Why?" with my eyebrows pulled together.

"'Cuz you're a dead man walkin'," she giggled before turning away. "See ya 'round, City boy." She gave a quick, small wave and went back to her table.

"Am I missing something?" I asked Magnus.

"Just bad blood," he sighed.

"Over what?"

"Alexander," Magnus smirked, "Which is all pointless now since he's mine, but girls are like cats. They hold grudges till the end of time, like into their next life."

"So what's the whole story?" My mind was too far gone to put everything together.

"Alexander was dating Kaelie, broke up with her for miss attitude over there and then, decided he was gay."

"Huh, turned gay because of women. I don't blame him."

"People don't just turn gay, handsome, they either are or they aren't. It can be a choice but most of the time people don't willingly choose to be made fun of and called horrible names because of their sexual preference." I'm sure what he said would have made sense to my sober mind, but my drunken mind was still thinking about ways of making the red headed fire cracker blush.

"What's her name?"

"Go ask her, but I'm forewarning you now. Don't play with fire. You'll get burned." I was pondering this when my cellphone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and squinted at the screen. KAELIE scrolled across the screen and I cursed under my breath. "Ball and chain calls?" Magnus smirked and I dug in my pockets.

"How much do I owe you?"

"I'll keep a tab. I'm sure you'll be a reoccurring customer." Magnus smiled like a Cheshire cat and I bound for the door.

"Hello," I answered and she screamed on the other end.

"JACE, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" I cringed and pulled the receiver away from my already pounding eardrum.

"I'm on my way," I sighed and hung up before she had a chance to yell some more. So, I'm an ass. I should have told her I wasn't coming straight back. She had every right to yell at me since the light glowing in my car showed 9:30 P.M. She was going to ream my ass when I got to the house. I stumbled in the door about fifteen minutes later. Kaelie, Evy, and Jeff met me, all with their hands firmly planted on their hips. "Well, hello, family," I waved. Jeff scowled, Evy shook her head, and Kaelie stared.

"Take care of your business, Kay," Evy rolled her eyes and pushed Jeff out the door, protesting the whole way. Kaelie pointed to the stairs and I saluted her before wobbling my way up with her close on my heels. I pushed through the door, heard it slam behind me and felt my shirt tighten around my neck as I was yanked back so my back was flush to the hard wood. Kaelie's lips were on mine in a matter of seconds. There was a moment of confusion while I tried to figure out what she was doing. I'd expected yelling, screaming, maybe a few fist throws and got a hand thrust down my pants instead.

"I thought you were mad?" I asked between kisses.

"I am," she pushed through gritted teeth while ripping my shirt open. "But you're drunk." I thought she was mad because I was drunk, or was it because I came home late, or was it both? "We haven't had sex in almost two weeks, Jace, and last time we had sex while you were drunk, it lasted three hours and I had five orgasms. Let's see if we can top that." Hmm… I don't remember that, but that's probably because I was drunk. I do remember that it's been almost two weeks, and so do unsaid parts of my body that need to mind their own business. I told her we weren't having sex in her parents' house. It just rubs me the wrong way.

I took hold of her shoulders and held her at arms' length so she couldn't reach said parts and she whined. She stared to look like a certain red head at the bar and when Kaelie spoke it was her voice I heard. "Come on Jace, please." The tone was soft, but husky and full of want and need, and then I remembered I wanted to make her blush. God! Those unsaid parts were more than ready for the task and her cheeks would be plenty pink by the time I was done.

I woke up the next morning with my head pounding in rhythm to the sound of my alarm and Kaelie's body half draped over mine. We were both naked and it automatically caused a string of curse words to roll off my tongue. I tried to nonchalantly push her off but she only curled her arm tighter around my waist and groaned. "Don't go to work today. We can spend all day in bed and have a replay of last night." Oh, last night, I have a bad feeling that last night was better for both of us than expected; however I don't remember shit except red hair and a husky voice. I'm in trouble.

"I have to go to work, Lee-Lee." Yes, that's my nickname for her. That came from another drunken night when I couldn't understand what the hell she'd said and it came out as Lee-Lee instead of Kaelie. Don't ask me how. The drunken mind is a fickle thing. I sat up, slammed by palm down on the alarm clock and scrubbed my hands over my face. I needed a shower. I felt gross. I slept with my girlfriend and thought about the red head at the bar the whole time. That much I could deduce from what I did remembered.

I got to the shower before she could say anything else and tried to scrub off at least two layers of skin. Was it because of Kaelie or the red head, I didn't know, but I felt like I'd just cheated on one of them and since Kaelie is my girlfriend, I'm gonna say I feel like I cheated on her, but then again…_No, just shut up! Push it as far back in your mind as you can and forget it happened_, I thought. Can a person forget something they don't remember? Then that tiny voice way in the back of my mind, you know the one that taunts you, said, "_She blushed_."

HOLY SHIT! I dropped my bar of soap and hung my head with my palms pressed to the wall in front of me. I felt cold fingers wrap around my waist. I jumped and turned to face Kaelie as she grinned from ear to ear. "How about a quickie before you go?" I found myself disgusted by the idea. What the hell is wrong with me? Kaelie is gorgeous. No man in his right mind would turn down that body and I never have, at least not until I came here. I gave her the best smile I could and held her chin between my fingers.

"Sorry, I'm all done." She pouted and I mimicked her facial expression as I left her in the shower. I dressed as quickly as I could, hoping I'd make it out the door before Kaelie got out of the shower and I was almost there. My hand was wrapped around the door knob in the front of the house ready to turn it when her father rounded the corner from the kitchen.

"Over-slept?" His brow rose and he stopped in front of me.

"Uh, yeah," I said not having any other reason as to why I was leaving without breakfast.

"Should we ride together," Jeff asked and shot me his best fake smile.

"I, ah, I can't. I have to go out to the Morgenstern ranch today and assess the property."

"Oh, yes, that's right. Blackthorn told me that. You know, when your done with that, why don't you go ahead and send the paperwork to my office. I need to put everything together for selling purposes."

"Sure," I nodded and ducked out the door. Once in my car, I loosened my tie and ran my hands through my hair. I was fairly sure that I was losing my mind over a woman whose name I didn't even know. When I stepped into my office the paperwork for the ranch was already on my desk. I didn't bother talking to anybody. I just picked it up and left. I did run into Alec before I made it out of the bank and he smiled.

"Hey, you're Jace, right?" I nodded and shook the hand he held out to me. "I'm Alec."

"Yeah, I know. I met Magnus last night."

"I thought you looked familiar. You should have come over to the table. I would have introduced you to everyone."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'll be around for a while. There'll be plenty of time to meet the whole town I'm sure."

"Yeah, it doesn't take long." Alec chuckled and the words, She blushed, went through my head again. Alec knew who she was, maybe I could coax out a name.

"Besides it looked like you were a little busy."

"Uh," he lifted a hand to scratch the back of his head. "Yeah, Clary can be a bit of a handful but she's harmless. She's kinda hard not to love…I mean…" his eyes grew large on his face and he waved his hands in front of him. "In a strictly platonic way." I laughed because platonic isn't the word I would use but for a man who's dating another man; platonic is all he had when referring to a woman.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Magnus you said it." Alec deflated and grinned.

"You and I," he shook his finger, "We're gonna get along just fine." And would ya look at that, I made a friend. A friend who could tell me everything I wanted to know about my little fire cracker. Shit! I just referred to her and mine. This is worse than I thought.

"Listen, I gotta run but we should all meet up at the bar so you can introduce me to everyone." Alec nodded and I pushed out the door. What the fuck am I doing?

"Well, you may get to meet everyone sooner." I stopped and pulled back with my head cocked in question. "Kaelie's mom is throwing that garden party, right? Everyone will be there. Well, everyone but the Morgenstern's."

"O.K. I'll see ya then," I nodded and made my way to the car. It wasn't hard to find the Morgenstern ranch. It spanned most of the outskirts of town. It seemed Mr. Morgenstern was the owner of a very large piece of real-estate. The house I pulled up to looked more like a barn than a house and it had a porch on the front with a swing. It looked to me like it would be a nice place to live. There was a big red barn adjacent to it and some smaller building scattered around the property. The driveway made a big circle and I pulled up right in front of the house. I stepped out of the car, buttoned my jacket, shut the door and was just about to take my first step when I heard a voice.

"Can I help you?" I turned and my heart stopped in my chest. Oh, holy mother of God! It was her. She had a cowboy hat on and her hair was pulled back in a braid that hung over her shoulder. She wore a flowery tank top that exposed more than I needed to see at this very moment in time and a pair of jeans and cowboy boots. _Pull your shit together, Jace. She's just a girl, _said the logical side of my brain. The other side was still gloating about making her blush, which, I hadn't REALLY done, but I still wanted to.

Her boots scuffed the dirt as she came closer and she tucked a pair of gloves in her back pocket. I took a deep breath and met her at the halfway point. "My name is, Jace," I introduced myself and offered her my hand. She took it and stared up at me with skeptical eyes. All of a sudden her lips parted and she beamed at me.

"So, City boy has a name." Oh, no, she remembers me too. I was struggling internally on whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. "I'm Clarissa." I cocked my head remembering what Alec had called her and then it hit me. Clary was what her friends called her, I was not a friend, nor did I want to be. I wanted to make her blush, and after seeing her without the alcohol haze, I wanted to know all the places I could make her skin flush that beautiful pink, not just her cheeks. "So what brings you out here?"

"I need to speak with," I stopped and looked through my paperwork, "Valentine Morgenstern." When I looked up, her smiled fell and she shook her head.

"You work at the bank?"

"Yes," I replied slowly.

"I told them they would get their money as soon as the cattle sold," She yelled and pointed her finger in my face. I took a quick step back and held my hands open in surrender.

"Look, I'm sorry, I'm just doing my job," I said. Clary planted her hands on her hips and scoffed.

"Yeah, and I'm sure it's just a coincidence that you're dating Jeff Bennet's daughter too." Whoa! Where did that come from? I cocked my head and was about to counter when a man dressed in a plaid shirt with a face full of beard came out of the barn.

"Clary, is everything O.K. out here?" The man looked between the two of us curiously and she held her hand up.

"Yeah, its fine, Luke. Mr…?" Clary looked back at me expectantly.

"Herondale," I answered.

"Mr. Herondale wants to talk to my father." She turned back at me with venom in her eyes and said, "Right this way, Mr. Herondale." Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. This was very bad.

"Look, if this is a bad time, I can come back later."

"Now's a good a time as any," she chimed as she pulled the creaky screen door open. The house opened up right into a hallway with stairs leading to the second level. To the left was the kitchen and a woman who looked a lot like Clary stood at the sink.

"Hey, baby. Are you done out there already? I don't have lunch done yet." When she saw me, her face paled and the welcome smile that appeared for Clary was gone. I assumed this was her mother.

"Mr. Herondale would like to talk to dad about the loan. Do you think he's available to speak right now, mom?"

"Clary, wait," her mother held out a hand and stepped forward but she had already grabbed the cuff of my jacket and yanked me down the hall.

"Really, if this is a bad time I can come back later." She looked up at me with fire in her eyes and I thought she might actually make me combust.

"Clary," her mother called from behind me, but she ignored it. She tugged me around the corner of a wide set door frame and my jaw fell.

"You want to talk to him. Here he is. Mr. Herondale, meet my father, Valentine Morgenstern."

FUCK!

* * *

_**And...THE END! **_

_**HAHA Totally kidding!**_

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	3. How Can I Face Tomorrow

**So I'm aware this is a tad bit late. I'M SORRY! I had a busy weekend and since it's Mommy's Day, I spent it with my kids, and I thought it would be a gift for your readers out there who are Mama's! Happy Mother's Day! Don't forget, the person who guesses who the Artist was that sang the chapter title gets a Snippet from the next chapter!**

**********__****I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"Clarissa Adele!" Clary's mother scolded and took her by the arm. "What is wrong with you?"

"He wanted to meet, Valentine Morgenstern. Well, Mr. Herondale," Clary looked at me again, "Here he is." I searched my mind for _something_ to say, but came up empty handed. The room was filled with respirators and heart monitors all surrounding a man in a hospital bed. Valentine Morgenstern was pale and his hair was gone. He had a piece of plastic over his mouth pushing pure oxygen out for him. My mind went back to the last time I'd seen my own father and my breath hitched in my throat. When I met Clary's gaze her eyes were rimmed red and I could tell she was waiting to let them fall until she was alone.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I didn't know." I hung my heard and turned away, but Clary wasn't done yet. She pulled away from her mother and grabbed on tight to my arm.

"You go back and you tell those bastards to leave us alone. This is trespassing and we can press charges."

"Clarissa!" Her mother took a dangerous tone. Clary turned around and her mother pointed to the door. "Go!" She finally let go of my arm, which was throbbing by now, and stormed through the door after making an irritated noise. If only she knew how well I understood her pain. "Mr. Herondale, please excuse my daughters' bad manners. It's been rough the last couple of months."

"It's not a problem," I smiled slightly and she sighed.

"My name is Jocelyn Morgenstern. Any questions you have I can answer for you."

"I don't have any questions, Mrs. Morgenstern. I was sent here to assess your property." Her eyes grew wide and she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. "I'll need to see everything to make sure I value it at the right amount." Her head fell and she nodded.

"I'm afraid the only person who knows the property as well as Val is Clary. Could it wait a few more days for her to calm down? I'll need to speak with her and make sure she's on her best behavior for you. She can be…"

"Difficult," I finished the statement for her. Jocelyn smiled a sad smile and sighed.

"He has cancer. We've done everything we can, chemo, radiation, experimental drugs, nothing has worked. When we found out, the doctors gave him six months. It's been a year and any day could be his last. Clary has taken it very hard. This has always been our home and she would rise early with Val every morning to help with chores. She came home early from college to run it when he got sick. We've all put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this place, and all I can say is, if we had to lose it to spend a little more time with him, it was worth it."

"You've spent all your money on medical care instead of paying the mortgage on the ranch?" She nodded and a single tear fell down her cheek. I couldn't say I blamed her. I would have done the same thing. Losing the people you love is never easy and I'd spend all the money in the world just to have five more minutes with my parents. "I'll come back on Monday. Maybe she'll have come around by then." Jocelyn gave me the 'yeah, O.K.' look and led me to the door. Luckily, Clary was nowhere to be found and I would get to keep my balls until, well, Monday.

I slipped into my car as quickly as I could and peeled around the circular drive. When I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw Clary's figure amidst the dust with her hands resting on her hips. My heart went out to her, but there was nothing I could do to take away her pain. I had to put this ridiculous obsession out of my mind. This girl didn't even like me, let alone be willing to let me near her, and I had Kaelie and…a ring. Kaelie was my future, and I had to keep sight of that.

Saturday brought a tirade of new people into my life. I met the mayor and his wife, the sheriff, and every other Tom, Dick, and Harry this town had to offer. Alec came with his family. I met his mother, Maryse, and his father, Robert, his sister, Isabelle, and his little brother, Max. I also had the pleasure of meeting Simon, Isabelle's boyfriend, and got reacquainted with Magnus. Evy served hotdogs and barbeques with potato salad and cheesecake for desert. The woman made a mean cheesecake, I'll admit, but still not as good as New York cheesecake. I knew Clary wouldn't be here, but that didn't stop me from watching the door swing open every time someone arrived. She'd said something that had been eating at me since I left her house, and I wanted to know what it meant.

I had other things to think about now, like giving Kaelie the ring I'd bought from Tiffany's before we left New York. The more I thought about it, the less I actually wanted to go through with it, but I was going to. Kaelie deserved something to show for all the effort she's put into me, and if she'll have me then I will have repaid my debt. I waited until sunset and took her over to the Gazebo situated further back on the property. She probably would have rather I done it in front of everyone, but that's not my style.

She looked really pretty today in her yellow, polka-dot dress with her hair curled. I wore a pair of Khaki slacks and a white button up. I looked into her green eyes and she smiled brightly at me. "What's up?" I was really going to do this, but for the life of me, I wished she would shrink a few inches and sprout red hair. I had to shake this shit and fast. "Jace?" Kaelie's brow furrowed and she pressed her palm to my cheek. It was now or never.

I smiled and took her hand. I sucked in a big breath and puffed out my cheeks before getting down on one knee and pulling the velvet box from my pocket. Kaelie's eyes widened and her smile brightened. I opened the box and looked up at her, telling myself this is what needed to happen. This is what would make her happy. She gasped, covered her mouth with her hand and then I said it, "Will you marry me, Lee-Lee?"

Kaelie closed her eyes and tears dripped down her cheeks as she shook her head. I was momentarily confused and then she laughed. "YES!" She yelled so loud that all of the party guests turned their heads in our direction. I pulled the ring from the box with shaky fingers and pushed it onto her outstretched hand then stood. She wrapped her arms around my neck and bounced up and down in my arms. "I love you, Jace. You don't know how happy this makes me."

"I love you, too," I whispered and then shut my mouth so I didn't puke all over her pretty dress. This moment that should have be a happy one for both of us made me feel like I was signing my life over to the devil. We walked back to the crowd and Kaelie went straight for her mother. Jeff came over and patted my back hard.

"Good man, Jace." He smiled. "We'll be happy to have you as a part of the family." I nodded. "Say, whatever happened at Morgenstern's yesterday? I didn't get any paperwork."

"There was a…" I cleared my throat, "Complication."

"Oh?" He raised a questioning brow.

"Yeah, but I'm going back Monday. I should have everything for you then."

"You know how much land is on that property, Jace? It'll take you a week just to get past the house and the buildings on the main ground." My heart sped and I felt like I needed a paper bag to steady my breaths.

"I work fast," I smiled, "Excuse me." I tucked my hands in my pockets and made my way inside the house trying to draw as little attention as possible. I climbed the stairs two at a time and threw myself into Kaelie's room then booked it to the bathroom. I turned on the cold water and let it run while I placed my hands on the edge of the sink and hung my head. I couldn't do this. Someone else would have to assess the property. There's no way I could spend that much time with Clary and be sane in the end. What the hell is wrong with me? I am not a weak person. I have never been affected by a woman this way, and she hasn't even done anything! She didn't even _flirt_ with me. Matter of fact, she probably hated me.

I looked up at my reflection and shook my head. '_Get it together, Jace_,' I thought. I'm getting married now, to a beautiful woman that loves me and knows all my dirty shit. I could handle one little girl, no matter how big her attitude was, or how much I wanted I wanted to take the pain of her fathers' sickness away, or how much I wanted to rip her clothes off and make her pant my name…repeatedly. Shit! I'm seriously screwed in the head. I was beginning to think that moving here was a bad idea. Thoughts of moving back to New York flitted through my mind and I quickly doused my face with cold water.

A knock came at the door and Kaelie's voice drifted through. "Jace, are you in there?" I grabbed the hand towel to my left and dried myself off. Staring at my reflection one last time I said, "Don't fuck this up!" And I opened the door. Kaelie smiled, and I could see just how happy she was when she looked at me. "You O.K?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just needed to get away from the crowd, that's all." She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her lips to mine then pushed me back into the bathroom and shut the door. She pressed her back against it and bit her lip as she stared at me with hooded eyes. Oh, damn, here it comes.

"We should celebrate," she grinned seductively at me, reached under her dress and pulled her panties down. I wish I could want this. I wish she made my heart beat like just thinking of Clary did. That's the reaction I should have for the woman I just proposed to, but I don't. I played it off with a shake of my head and smirked.

"You're naughty. There a people out there."

"You like it when I'm naughty," she grabbed my shirt and yanked me toward her, my palms landing on the solid wood behind her head. She licked my lips, and sucked my bottom one into her mouth. "Come on, Jace. Make me scream so loud everyone outside hears it, so they know what you do to me," she whispered in a husky voice. I can't do it. My body is begging me to but my mind is saying, 'Uh, Uh, not gonna happen.' While I'm busy with my tug of war, Kaelie pulls my left hand from the door and slips it under her dress. Christ! She's more than prepared for this and gets even more so as she moves my hand in a rhythm that suits her.

I press my forehead to hers and decide, if she wants to do all the work, then so be it. I keep my eyes closed and only one thing comes to mind. Her. I can't keep doing this shit. I'm going to marry this woman. I can't keep pretending she's someone else. I open my eyes and see red and freckles, and Clary's prefect lips and magically, my hand moves on its own. I know it isn't real, I know she's not really here, but it's what I see. My damn mind is playing a game. Clary's…Kaelie's head falls back and her breathing quickens. I can feel it before it happens and then she screams. I cover her mouth with my free hand until she's past it and then I let her go.

She steadies herself as I pull my hand away trying not to get anything on her dress and she licks her lips. "God, you're amazing," she breathes. "And you're all mine." She smiles and wraps her arms around my neck to kiss me again. "I really do love you."

"I love you too," I say and that nasty voice yells, 'LIAR, LIAR.' "I'll meet you down stairs." She nods and I kiss the top of her head before she leaves. Well, this shit just keeps getting better and better. The rest of my weekend goes on like this and late Sunday I decide I need to get away. I tell Kaelie I'll be out late and not to wait up, and then I head down to Magnus' bar. I have every intention of sharing a long night with Jack, and no one else. I walk in and right away Magnus salutes me.

"I knew you'd be back," he said wiping down the bar.

"I just can't resist this place."

"This place or that girl?" Magnus nods to his right and my heart damn near falls into my stomach. Clary is sitting with Isabelle in a booth and she's laughing. Her smile is perfect and I wish I was the one putting it on her face. I look back at Magnus and he smirks. "That's what I thought."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I tell him as I take a seat on the stool. He hands me a Jack Coke without me even asking for it, and I nod my appreciation. Magnus and I fall into a comfortable conversation about the football draft and I manage to find out where he finds his glittery belt buckles. Apparently Amazon sells everything these days and the internet _is_ provided out here in the sticks. About an hour after I arrived, Simon pushes through the door and joins Clary and Isabelle. Only a few minutes later, Clary is saddled up beside me and Isabelle is leaving with Simon.

"What are you doing here?" She asks and Magnus looks between us like he's waiting for one of us to turn and say 'draw,' but I can also see that he thinks this is funny. It's not. I hold my glass up and shake the contents of it, the ice cubes make a clanking noise inside, then I take a long pull from it. "Are you stalking me?" I choke before I finish swallowing and Magnus smirks before turning around, but I know he's still listening. It's what bartenders do, they eavesdrop.

"Yeah," I cough, "I make it a point to stalk women who yell at me after five minutes of knowing them."

"I'm sorry," she sighs and Magnus drops a glass, pulling our attention to him instead of what she was saying.

"For what?" I take another sip because I can smell her now, and she smells so damn good. It's the perfect mix of flowers and fruit and something else, and it makes my mouth water.

"For yelling at you," she turns to look at me and I fight it. I fight it with every last drop of will-power I have, but I turn and meet her gaze. "I'm just having a hard time."

"You don't have to explain anything to me. Your mom told me what's going on with your dad, and trust me, I know how much it hurts." '_Shut your trap, Jace_,' says the logical side. '_Keep going_,' says the voice I am now labeling, The Traitor. Clary's eyes soften and Magnus finds the perfect time to turn around to give me another drink. Thank You, Magnus.

"I know you're just doing your job, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Agreed, I don't have to like it any more than you do. And I don't, so we can at least see eye to eye on that." Clary laughs. "What?"

"I expected you to be…"

"What?" I said again.

"Different. You're too nice to be getting caught up in this mess."

"What mess?" Magnus clears his throat and Clary drops her head.

"She doesn't deserve you," Clary says before sliding off the stool and leaving the bar.

"What did I just miss?" I ask Magnus and he just shakes his head.

"Nothing, just do your job and stay out of the crossfire when it's done. And that also means staying away from that one." He points to the door and his eyes sparkle at me.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I lean back and spread my arms.

"I see it," Magnus points to his temple, "And if you keep looking at her like that, so will everyone else and you won't just be in the crossfire. You'll be the target. Bennet always gets what he wants and he doesn't care who is standing in his way. You can be on his side, or against him. Choose wisely."

What the hell was any of that supposed to mean? He told me absolutely nothing I couldn't have deciphered for myself, except for the fact that I'm completely transparent when it comes to Clary. Tomorrow would be an interesting day and if I was going to make it through alive, I needed to sleep. "How much do I owe you?"

"On the tab," Magnus shrugs, and I sigh a thanks before heading out the door. How the hell am I going to get out of this one? I'm Screwed!

* * *

_**So Ima...gonna go into hiding now! No heat seaking missiles or death letters, PLZ! lol Ya'll know the drill**_

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_**LivyBug**_


	4. Hello Darlin'

**And Chapter 4! Remember, if you want snippets from the next chapter to name the artist who sang the song that the CHAPTER is named after.**

**************__****I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

I woke before the sun, just like I do every morning. The chores won't take care of themselves. Mom already has coffee brewing and I can smell it wafting into my room. It used to be that I would make my way down the steps to find my mother and father in the kitchen together talking about the weather or my reckless brother or a mare that would soon give birth. I missed those days, the days where the only care we had was getting the chores done by night fall.

I pushed my patchwork quilt off my legs and made my way down the dark hallway to shower. I'm not the type of person who can fully wake up without a shower and a big cup of joe. I dressed in a plaid button up t-shirt, my boot-cut Levi's, and pulled my well-worn boots on before heading downstairs. I hated this part of my day, the part that would tell me if my dad made it through the night. I can usually hear the monitors half way down, and today I let out a sigh of relief at the steady beat they make.

I hop down the last two steps, my boots making a clopping noise, and head right for the living room. This has been a ritual of mine since I came home from college. I put on my best smile and quietly tip-toe toward his bed, but my dad smirks. It's a weak smile, showing just how vulnerable he's become due to his sickness, but as long as he smiles I can get through my day. "Morning, Daddy," I chime and hitch up next to him. I lean in for a hug and he presses his chapped lips to my cheeks in greeting.

"Good Morning, Firefly," he rasps. I smile. He's called me Firefly as long as I can remember because of my fiery red hair and my disdain for going to sleep when I was supposed to when I was little. I never understood why he called me that until he took me out one night and showed me what they were. Fireflies are most commonly called lightning bugs, and they're nocturnal. The back ends of their underbellies glow to attract a mate or prey, and he said I made him think of Fireflies with my blazing temper and bright smile. "What's on the agenda today?"

"A gentleman from the bank is coming to assess the property," I say. It's no use in hiding it from him. He always knows when I'm lying or trying to cover something up. He frowns and turns his head away. "It'll be O.K., Daddy. I'll find a way."

"This is not your burden to carry, Firefly. It's mine, and I have failed you."

"No, no you didn't." I shake my head and lean closer to him. He looks older than he should. His skin is ashen and there are more wrinkles now than there's ever been. His dark eyes roll back to me and he sighs. "I've had the best childhood anyone could ask for in this house. You don't owe me anything, Daddy. I would rather have you than this house." His smile returns, but it's sad.

"You should be somewhere in a big city selling those marvelous paintings of yours, not here running this ranch. This place," his eyes move around the room, "This is my life. I want you to live your own dreams, Firefly."

"My dreams can wait," I whisper and shake my head to look away from his gaze. I did have dreams, dreams of leaving this place and traveling the world in search of beautiful landscapes and interesting people to capture. I hadn't forgotten about that. It just had to be put on the backburner until I could wrangle our family though this mess. I'd hoped that Jonathan would come too, so I wouldn't be alone in this, but he and my father have never seen eye to eye. He never wanted to be here, always looked for ways to escape. He ran away on more than one occasion, and our father would somehow find him and drag him back by the collar of his coat.

"Clary, breakfast is ready," my mother's voice drifts into the room and my dad nods for me to go. I peck his forehead and glance back at him one more time before heading to the kitchen. My mother's eyes brighten with her smile when she sees me and hands me a plate of bacon, eggs and toast. Luke is at the table, already half done with his plate when I sit down. He's a scruffy looking man with glasses that are always hanging off the bridge of his nose, but he's been a pillar in my life since the day I was born. He's my Godfather, my Dad's best friend, and he manages, somehow, to keep us all sane. "I'm going into town after breakfast. I need to pick up some groceries. Is there anything special you want me to get?" My mom asks as she moves behind me, pulls my curly hair back, and French braids it.

Luke and I both shake our heads. "Luke, can you handle the feedings this morning? I want to go to town with mom and stop at the bank." Luke looks from me to my mother, slowing his chewing and nods. He is a man of few words, and I think that is his best quality. He's a thinking man, but when he does speak, it's with purpose.

"Why do you need to go there? Mr. Herondale is coming out today," my mother says and shifts to take our plates and wash them. Ah, yes, Mr. Herondale. Now, that is a man I have yet to figure out. What would make a person leave the city and move here? Kaelie is a beautiful girl. I can't deny the truth of that just because of our torrid history. He must really love her to have moved all this way, away from his family and friends, away from his home. Even with my dreams being what they are, I always knew someday that I'd end up back here. Kaelie doesn't deserve a man who would do that for her.

I'd thought about this many times over the weekend. Who am I kidding? I thought about him. I've thought about him every night since we met at the bar and I knew this was wrong. I've been in this situation before and I swore I would never do it again, but there's something about him; the way his golden eyes sparkle, the way his blond hair falls perfectly around his face and curls at the base of his neck, the way his voice sparked a fire in the pit of my belly…Oh, God! I'm a terrible person, daydreaming about a man who belongs to someone else. I know all I need to know about Jace Herondale in my dreams. I know his lips, his hands, the feel of his skin against mine, and I love it all.

"I'm leaving in twenty minutes, Clary. So, if you're coming with, you'd better get a move on," my mom snaps me out of my fantasy. "Luke, if Mr. Herondale shows up before we get home, would you please show him what he needs?" Luke nods again and takes a sip of his coffee then heads outside to start work. My mother and I pile into our old Ford pickup, the one with the rusted bumper and dented bed, and make our way into town. It takes ten minutes to pull into Augusta. The streets are still sleepy and quiet but the sun shines bright overhead. Mom pulls up to the grocery store and I head down two blocks to the bank.

Alec doesn't know I'm coming, but I'm sure he'll love the surprise. Aline sits at the front desk and I breeze past her. She gets up and follows me through the bank telling me, "You can't just barge in here, Clary. Stop or I'll call, Mel." I stop once I've reached Alec's office door and I smiled widely at her.

"Is Alec busy?" I chime.

"N-no," she shakes her head.

"Then this will only take a minute," I whisper and turned the knob to let myself in. Alec looks up from his desk with wide eyes. I plop myself in the gray chair in front of him and let him compose himself at my abrupt presence. I smile and cock my head then he clears his throat and steeples his hands in front of him.

"Clary," his eyes meet mine and I sit forward with my elbows pressed into my legs. "What brings you here?"

"I want to know everything you can dig up about this property assessment and what the bank plans on doing." I narrow my gaze and sighs as he sits back in his chair.

"I'm a banker, Clary. I don't know anything about the loans or property assessments. I didn't even know about it until Izzy called me last night."

"You're here every day, Alec. Surely you can find out something," I bat my eyes, knowing full well it won't work because, well, he's Alec, and he's gay. But he used to be my Alec and I know how he ticks.

"Clary…" he leaned forward.

"Need I remind you, that you stole my virginity and two weeks later told me you were gay?"

"Ah, Christ, Clary!" His arms came up in protest and he shook his head. "This again?" I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest. "We were sixteen," his voice drops to a whisper, "And I didn't steal anything. You were a willing participant," he hisses. I shrug.

"I was scarred for life, Alec," I press my hand to my chest and lean forward to rest my elbows on his desk. One of his eyes twitches and he bites the inside of his cheek. I stand and walk around the edge of his desk; it's not helping to have it between us. Alec spins in his chair and eyes me suspiciously with his arms resting on the hard plastic handles, his fingertips tapping his knees. "Can you just do this one, little, thing for me, please?" I stick out my bottom lip and he closes his eyes, lets his head fall back and sighs.

"Alright," one hand flicks up and his blue eyes come back to me. "I'll see what I can find, but I can't promise you anything, Short Cake." I smile like Cheshire cat taking note at his use of Short Cake. He hasn't called me that in years. It was the pet name he gave me in high school while we were dating. I used to think we'd get married, travel the world, and have a couple kids, but I was wrong, and it crushed me when he'd told me he was gay. I felt like I'd done something wrong to push him away, and he tried multiple times to tell me otherwise, but a blow like that takes a huge notch out of a persons' self-esteem. It took us a while to recover and even be friends after that.

I throw myself into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," I chant. Alec's arms come around my waist and I hear him smile. I sigh. "I miss this," I whisper. Alec's always been good at comforting me and he always knew when I needed it most.

"My arms are always open," he says and looks down at me. I smile and burry my face in his chest. He's always smelled so good; like sandalwood and detergent. I could sit in his arms forever and that's one thing that will never change.

"Hey, Alec," The door creaks open and a familiar voice calls out. Alec and I both jump and turn our attention to the door. "You wanna get so…" Jace trails off from the door with his mouth agape and eyes wide. I skitter off Alec's lap and tuck a stray curl behind my ear. Alec clears this throat and turns to face Jace. "I'll just, umm…wait until you're done," Jace points out the door, questioning us both with his eyes.

"No," Alec shakes a dismissive hand. "Clary and I were just finishing up. What were you going to ask?"

"Lunch, at the bar, after I get back…from Clary's house…" He wasn't able to form a sentence correctly and I had to fight the smile threatening to creep onto my face.

"Sure," Alec smiles and nods. Jace looks between us again before closing the door. I burst out laughing and Alec slumps in his chair. "Well, that wasn't awkward."

"It'll give Magnus a good laugh," I say and Alec gives me the, 'Yeah, right,' look. "I should go, but really, thank you, Alec. This means a lot." He nods and I walk to the door. Before opening it, I turn back. Alec has returned to his paperwork but looks up in question. "I love you," I murmur and his lips creep to one side of his face.

"I love you, too, Short Cake." To any other person, this exchange wouldn't have made any sense, but for us it did. We weren't professing our undying love for one another. We weren't giving each other a lovers' goodbye. It was an understanding between us that we shared something special, and though our relationship and feelings were different, that something special was still there. I pushed out of his office and smiled, but it instantly fell when I saw Jace standing with his back against the wall, hands pushed into his pockets, foot propped and one knee sticking out. He looked confused, and awestruck.

"Do I dare ask?" His voice taking a flat tone.

"Ask whatever you want," I shrug. "Can't promise an answer."

"He's gay, right?" Jace's finger jet's out in the direction of the door behind me. "I mean, Magnus wasn't just playing some sick joke on the new guy?"

"No," I sniff a laugh, "Magnus wasn't playing a joke on you. Alec is gay, for now." Jace's brow rises as if to ask, 'For now?' and I whisper, "I'm secretly trying to turn him straight." The other brow now matches the height of the first raised one, and his lips fall apart. I can't help but laugh. His expression turns curious and I plant my hands on my hips with a sigh, "I was kidding." Jace closes his mouth tight and nods. "But I'm beginning to wonder if you're stalling me again." I smirk. Jace crosses his arms over his chest and gives me a sly grin.

"You came to my place of employment," he pushes off the wall, takes two steps forward and is now standing right in front of me. I look up to meet his gaze and his eyes sparkle at me. "Maybe I'm the one who's being stalked." That brow shoots up again and the fire in my belly roars to life. Oh, shit! How does he do that? I think my heart stopped and I have to hold my breath so I don't catch his scent. I remember it from the first night we met. Drunk as I was I'm surprised that I do, but it's there in the back of my mind and I don't have to be near him to smell it. He smells sweet and spicy at the same time, Armani Code or Burberry come to mind. Whatever it is, it makes me want to run my tongue all over his body.

"I don't need to stalk people," I chirp and scoot around him quickly. These thoughts of mine are unnerving and quite frankly, scare the hell out of me since the only person I've been close enough to lick is now a gay man.

"And yet you're still here," he says from right behind me

"Yeah, well, I came to see my friend and my mother will be waiting for me," I turn my head to say. Warm fingers wrap gently, but firmly around my arm and I gasp as he pulls me to a stop.

"I'll take you home. Just so happens, I'm headed in that direction." He smiles and my insides melt. A puddle, I'm a fricken puddle! Breathe, Clary, breathe! No, wait! Don't breathe, that'll just make it worse. He let's go and plunges his hand back into the pocket of his black dress pants. I let my lungs start working again, but minimally so I don't smell him. I can't sit in a car with this man! What if my clothes magically disappeared, just melted into my skin? "I'm right up front. We'll stop and let your mom know before heading to your house."

"Or I could just walk the two blocks back to the grocery store and meet my mom."

"You could," he nods, "But the way I see it, you yelled at me for no reason and now you owe me."

"How does giving me a ride home relieve me of a debt?" I cock my head, genuinely interested in how this works.

"You made me feel like shit. This way you can make me feel better by letting me do something nice for you. Debt paid and I no longer feel like an ass." He smiles and bounces on the balls of his feet. Sly one isn't he? I sigh and look up at him through my lashes while nodding my O.K. Jace holds his hand out and says, "After you." Wow, a gentleman as well. I may spontaneously combust if he holds the car door open for me.

Aline is up at her desk, chewing a wad of gum when we walk by, and she gives us a confused look. "Aline," I nod. Jace taps the counter in front of her and she gives him all of her attention.

"I'll be out all day. If anyone needs me, have them call my cell." She nods and jots down a note. "Thanks," he smiles a panty dropping, body shaking, orgasm inducing smile. Aline shifts in her chair, uncrossing her legs and re-crossing them. Whore! I push through the glass doors and spot Jace's car right away. He jogs up behind me and catches the handle just as I reach out. "Allow me," he says and I fight throwing myself at him. I roll my eyes instead and he smiles…that smile…again. I step back so he can open the door and huff into the seat. Ten minutes. I can handle ten minutes in a small space with this man, but his car smells like his cologne and I quickly close my eyes and suck in a deep breath. Oh my God, he smells so good!

Jace takes the seat beside me and I snap out of it. I decide then that Izzy and I are going one night stand searching. Alec is the only person I've been with, the only person I'd ever planned on being with, but this man makes my body scream and beg for attention from the opposite sex. Jace starts the car and I immediately roll the window down and lean toward it. The fresh air feels like cold water being dumped on me and I love it, but I hate it at the same time. I've never had this reaction to someone before. It excites me and it freaks me out because it makes me feel desperate and desperate women do stupid things.

"Ready?" Jace asks. I nod. 'More than you'll ever know,' pipes a voice at the back of my mind. I curse under my breath and shake my head. "You alright?" Jace looks concerned and I stutter out my response.

"I-Ah, I just forgot to tell Alec something. It's not a big deal," I shrug. Jace nods but looks like he doesn't believe me, and he shouldn't because I'm lying though my teeth, but he doesn't need to know that. We pull up to the truck just as my mom is coming out of the store. Jace puts the car in park and jumps out to take the bags from her and puts them in the truck bed. It all happens in slow motion for me, the way he moves, his smile, the way he interacts with my mom. He says something that makes my mom grin and I slouch in my seat when her eyes catch mine. She nods and waves at Jace before getting into the truck and pulling away, but no in the direction of our house.

"Where is she going?" I ask Jace when he's back in the car and follow the truck with my gaze.

"To pick up something for Luke, so she was glad I was taking you home." Divine intervention was taking away my right to choose. It didn't matter since I'd already chosen to let him drive me home, but I was still upset about that. I stopped believing in fate after Alec told me he was gay, but sometimes you just had to wonder why shit happened the way it did.

* * *

_**Thank You to my wonderful friend and beta, DayDreamer-BleachLover. She truely is a God send. **_

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	5. Down on the Farm

**************__****So...I'm sorry this has taken so long. My beta and I are trying to get this whole story written and edited before she leaves on her trip around Europe...BOO on her! but here it is. As usual...first person to give me the name of the artist who sang the song listed as the chpt name will get a snippet from the next chpt. :)**

**************__****I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

This is excruciating. What was I thinking by offering Clary a ride home? Right, I wasn't, not with the correct part of my anatomy. My useless brain managed to catch some things though, like the fact that she holds her breath when I get close and the look on her face when I smiled at Aline. I vividly remember my shower this morning, so I don't smell bad and I sprayed my cologne on in the car before going in the bank. This also explains why her window is down. Either she doesn't like my cologne or she's trying to hide the fact that she does. Her jealous reaction to me and Aline tells me it's the latter.

It doesn't surprise me how much I like it. In fact it's because of that reaction that I want to reach across the center console to steady her shaking leg and be confident that she won't brush my hand away. But I don't do it, because I'll keep it there, and move it places it doesn't belong. The ride to her house is the longest yet, shortest ten minutes of my life. I want it to last longer, but I don't. It torture being this close, but so far away. Her fingers drum impatiently on the side of the door like she'd rather be anywhere but in this car, and maybe that's true, but maybe it's not.

I rack my brain to find something to talk about to distract me, but she beats me to it. "So I hear congratulations are in order." Clary turns her head and her green eyes lock onto me like a heat seeking missile. Her heated stare makes me feel like asking my girlfriend of three years to marry me was a huge mistake, but this isn't the first time I've felt like this. I regretted it instantly, but would I have felt like this had I never met Clary? Something told me to buy that ring and give Kaelie a part of myself I've not given anyone since my parents died, but I don't want her to have it. I'm not sure if I want Clary to have it either, but I want the chance to get to know her and find out.

"You heard about that, huh?" I smirk and try to act unaffected. She nods and turns her head away.

"Have you set a date?" She asks the windshield.

"I haven't, Kaelie on the other hand, has probably had the whole thing planned out for the past year or longer." She laughs an all-out girly giggle that makes me smile. "What?" I ask and she covers her mouth to quiet the sound, but I wish she wouldn't have. Her laugh is infectious.

"I'm sorry, it's just," she presses her hand to her stomach and laughs again. "I could actually see her doing that." Oh, yeah, I'd nearly forgotten that Clary and Kaelie knew each other, and from the sounds of it, very well. I decided to ask.

"Sounds like you know how she is." Clary nods and pops her lips. I have to force my mind to keep on the subject I started and not her mouth. "But you're not friends." It's not a question. It's obvious they aren't but I want to know why.

"Nope," Clary shakes her head.

"Why not?" I ask after it's apparent that she's not going to volunteer any information.

"Long story," she sighs.

"Well, we've got all day or you could tell me the short version." She seems to ponder this and then she turns to me.

"I don't want to tarnish the squeaky clean persona she's created for you. I'll let you keep thinking she's perfect. I'll tell you what she would say; I stole Alec from her and crushed her future."

"And that's not what happened?" She gave me a look that said, 'Don't be ridiculous' and I nodded. "O.K. hit me. I can take it." Really, I can. Give me an excuse to have that ring yanked off her finger.

"She cheated on Alec with my brother." To this I gave a sideways glance. "Alec and Jon were best friends," she continues, "And so were Kaelie and I. She told me what happened and assumed that I told Alec, but I didn't, Jon did."

"Will I get the pleasure of meeting this brother of yours?" I ask as we pull into her driveway.

"Nope," she pops the 'P' and then says, "Jon left town right after he told Alec he screwed his girlfriend." Just as she's about to pull the lever to open the door I ask the million dollar question.

"How did you and Alec end up together then?" she turns to me and smiles but doesn't answer right away.

"Alec and I…" she stops and purses her lips. "We've always had an odd relationship. I'll just leave it at that." Meaning, that's not up for discussion. I can take a hint. I'm displeased at the fact that her brother isn't around, but such as life. The two of us step out of the car and I'm already hot from the sun beating down on me. "So, Mr. Herondale, where do you want to start?" Clary asks after walking around the car.

"Um, I'll leave that up to you. I have to see it all and know what you use it for so just jump in and go, I'll follow and pretend I know what you're talking about." She smiles and jerks her head toward a big red barn. Inside black and white cows are lined up in rows and it smells so bad my stomach churns. Clary turns to me and laughs. I must look pretty hilarious and the expression on my face priceless. I grew up in the city, I've smelled some pretty nasty stuff, but this makes me puke in my mouth a little.

"Can't hack it, City Boy?" She teases. I straighten my shoulders and suck it up like a man. If this tiny little girl can do this, then so can I.

"I'm good," I wave a hand and follow behind.

"These are our milking cows. Every few hours we put one of these," she holds up a clear ball with four tendrils coming out of it with silver cylinders at the end, "down there," she points to a cow utter, "And it sucks the milk out. You follow me so far?"

"Just because I've never seen a cow before doesn't make me a moron," I say and her mouth drops.

"You've never seen a COW before?"

"No," I shake my head. "Before coming here, I'd never left the five boroughs." And then she laughs at me, again.

"Maybe instead of showing you, I should put you to work?" she places her hands on her hips and smirks. She can put me to work all she wants, but I'm sure her idea of work doesn't coincide with mine. Her smirk falls and she's back to business. "So these guys," she points to the spider looking thing again, "Are attached to that," she looks up to a pipe running along the ceiling, "And from there they go into the milk tank. Later a truck comes to pick it up and it goes to whatever milk company we are supplying right now."

"You don't know which one?"

"No, but Luke does. We can ask him later. Come on, I'll show you the pigs." Great more stinky animals. I follow her back outside where it looks like a smaller building is attached to the big red barn. There are six very round, fat, pink pigs that I can count. Some buried in the mud, some eating what looks like sewage, and others just being lazy. "These guys," Clary says hoisting herself up on the thick, metal gate, "We raise them, feed them till their nice and fat and sell them. We usually keep some to breed, so we always have pigs."

"Sell them for what?"

"Where do you think bacon and pork chops come from?" She questions. It was a dumb question I guess, but I've never seen a pig up close either.

"I may never eat bacon or pork chops again, thanks," I give her a closed mouth smile and she grins.

"You don't strike me as the type to have a weak stomach, Mr. Herondale."

"I don't, but seeing what will become my food lying in the mud doesn't sit well."

"Pigs are actually very clean animals," she turns to look at them, "Much cleaner than a cow or a chicken. They only lay in the mud to keep out of the sun."

"Let me guess, you have chickens too?" I raise a brow and she hops off the fence.

"Yup, come on." She heads over to a small white building. It looks like a little house with a small opening and a ladder leading up to it. There is a wire fence around it, but to keep something in or out I'm not sure. "The hens are inside. We collect eggs every morning, some we keep, some we sell."

"What's the fence for?" I ask.

"You know, to keep predators like wolves, coyotes, and mountain cats out." She shrugs and looks at me. No I really don't. Where I come from, we put up fences to keep other people out. They are the predators, not wild animals. She shows me a couple other small buildings that just hold equipment; lawn mower, bobcat for snow removal, ATV, and by that time, its lunch time. Jocelyn pulls up as we're walking out of the garage.

"Hey guys," she chimes. "How's it going?"

"Fine," I smile and help her with her supplies.

"Is Clary behaving for you?" She asks me but eyes her daughter. Clary rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest while standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Yes, she has been on her best behavior." I sniff a laugh and then, The Traitor, pipes up and says, 'I wish she wasn't! I could think of a few ways to discipline her!' I roll my eyes at myself; yes myself, because I'd actually done rather well today.

"Would you like to stay for lunch, Mr. Herondale?" Jocelyn asks. Clary's arms fall and she slowly walks into the kitchen to stand next to me.

"Call me, Jace. Mr. Herondale makes me sound old." I scrunch my nose and Clary smirks.

"So, how 'bout it, Jace? Are you staying for lunch?" Clary swivels so she's directly in front of me to ask.

"I made plans with Alec. Rain check?" I want to stay, I really do, but I wish I'd known she would ask before inviting Alec to lunch. Then again, maybe Alec would tell me more about his situation with Clary. "In fact," I look down at my wrist which doesn't hold a watch, "I should be going now." Clary cocks her head at me and fights a smile. I lean closer and say, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Be here by five," she chirps.

"Five in the morning?" My eyebrows shoot up and she nods.

"Yeah, you're going to milk a cow tomorrow, Jace."

"What if I don't want to milk a cow?"

"If you want to get your job done, you're going to milk a cow and pick eggs, and feed pigs slop." She's trying to kill me, but I am Jace Herondale and I don't back down from a challenge. I just hope she won't either when the time comes.

"Five it is then," I smile and wave before heading out to my car. Alec was already waiting at the Buck Horn bar when I showed up. He and Magnus were laughing at the counter. I had to let my eyes adjust to the dim light in the room compared to the bright sunlight outside. "Hey guys," I say and push onto a stool next to Alec.

"What's up, Jace? How did things go with Clary this morning?" Alec asks. I turn to face him while nodding slowly and then I smile.

"I should ask the same," I say. Alec's eyes grow a little bit wider than normal but he shows no other reaction than that. "You guys looked a little cozy when I walked into your office."

"Clary and I are close friends, Jace." Magnus smirks at Alec like nothing that's being said between us is a surprise to him. What is wrong with the people around here? How can Magnus not care that Alec and Clary have some weird thing going on?

"I gathered that," I reply and order an everything burger from Magnus.

"Why the sudden interest in Clary anyway?" Alec furrows his brows and spins toward me.

"My sudden interest is due to the fact that I have to assess her farm, and her showing up at the bank to climb into your lap tells me that something is going on."

"She's worried about losing the farm and needed a friend. Is that good enough for you?"

"No," I shake my head. He's hiding something and it's big.

"Tell me something," Alec leans forward and eyes me hard. "What is the bank planning to do with Clary's farm?"

"I don't know. What does a bank do when people don't pay their loans, Alec?"

"I'm not a loan officer, Jace. I don't work in collections. If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be asking you. Has Bennet shown an interest in the farm?" I turn my head in his direction and cock my head.

"Why would that matter?"

"Just curious. He got you that job didn't he? Funny how the first thing you're asked to do is assess the Morgenstern property, don't ya think?" Magnus takes his time to bring our food and I stare at Alec.

"Dig in boys," he smiles and wipes his hands on a wash rag.

"So, is the farm really the only reason you've taken such a liking to our little firecracker?" Alec asks while shoving a forkful of lettuce in his mouth.

"Firecracker?" I repeat and glance at Magnus. He just shakes his head and leans down on his elbows. I get the impression that Alec is not the right person to have a conversation about Clary with.

"Yeah," Alec nods. "Clary. You looked a little taken aback by seeing her in my office."

"I didn't expect her to be there."

"Is that because she came to see me and not you? I mean, about the assessment that is," Alec's lips quirked and his eyes turned dark. I didn't like how this conversation suddenly turned to me and Clary instead of Alec and Clary.

"No, like I said, just unexpected." Alec looked to Magnus and now he smiled. What the hell was I missing here?

"A little advice," Alec drawls. "Clary is a pretty important person to a lot of people around here. Don't fuck with her." WHOA! I jerk back from the bar and stare at Alec.

"Is this like, the stay away from her or I'll hurt you speech? Because, it's not what you think. I'm with Kaelie and have no interest in Clary," I shake my head knowing full well I'm a liar. Alec laughs.

"Who said anything about you being interested in her? I meant where the farm is concerned. If Bennet has his sights on that farm, it would be best for you to stay as far away from it as you can, that's all I was saying. And I won't have to hurt you. Clary is capable of bodily harm all on her own. Trust me on that." He speaks from experience. I take it their past wasn't full of flowers and sunsets.

"Noted," I nod and go back to my burger. I didn't miss the entertained look on Magnus' face through our little confrontation either. I left the bar and decided it would be best for me to go back to the Bennet's house and relax. Being up at the ass crack of dawn wasn't my idea of fun and I was never up that early unless I had yet to fall asleep when that time rolled around. I pushed through the front door and heard voices coming from the kitchen, so I headed that way. Kaelie and Evy were sitting at the bar with their head hovering over a book.

"Jace," Kaelie looks up and chimes. "You're home early." She yanks the book off the counter and tucks it behind her back. I saunter up to the counter with my head cocked to the side and smile.

"I decided to take the rest of the day off. What are you hiding?" I reach behind her and she steps out of my grasp.

"It's just boring wedding stuff," she laughs nervously.

"Here, Jace, have a beer," Evy pushes a cold Rolling Rock in my direction and I raise my brows. Nice diversion, but now I want to know what she is hiding even more.

"Have you set a date?" I ask and bring the bottle to my lips.

"Me?" Kaelie presses her hand to her chest. "No, we haven't talked about it yet. I thought you'd want to set a date together." Shit! I don't even want there to be a date let alone help her figure out which one it should be. I take another gulp of the beer and set the bottle back down.

"Whatever you decide is fine with me." I try and sound sincere when I say it, but I know I've failed when the hurt look appears on her face.

"Well I'll have to call and see when we can get the best caterer and how soon flowers can be in, but I want to do it before summer ends." I need to make her feel better. I don't like that look.

"O.K. just tell me when and I'll be there. You know, the one in the tux standing by the minister." She smiles and I take my beer and head into the living room. Jay is sitting on the couch watching ESPN and I decide that this will work just fine for me.

* * *

_**And there it be.**_

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	6. Daddy won't sell the Farm

O.K. so...My Lovely beta went on a 7 WEEK tour of Europe...kinda hating her right about now, Therefore, chapters will come slower. but enjoy 6 :)

**************__****I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"Clary?" Izzy's frantic voice rang through my phone.

"Iz, calm down. What's going on?" I ask and sit up on my bed. I'd just told my parents good night and I was working on the drawing I'd started last night of the view from my window. I'd drawn it many times, but with each new picture it changed. I hear a beep in my ear and pull the phone back to see SIMON shine on my screen. "Why is Simon calling me too?" Izzy whimpers before answering.

"Can I come over?"

"Iz, you're freaking me out!"

"I'll be there in ten." Then the line goes dead. Simon left a voicemail so I quickly check that. Izzy has never called me crying. In fact, it's usually the other way around. Simon's voice was just as troubled in the voice message he left. 'Clary, it's me. If you see Isabelle can you please tell her to call me? Do your best friend a solid, huh? I'm worried about her." Something was terribly wrong if Izzy was avoiding Simon. I tip-toed down the steps as quietly as I could, so as not to wake my father and peaked into the living room to check on him. A light shined above his bed and he was sleeping peacefully. At least, as peacefully as I presumed was possible for him.

I made my way to the kitchen and found a box of crackers to munch on until Izzy showed up, and I pondered what would make her act so erratic. My ears twitched at the sound of raised voices outside and I rush outside. Red and blue lights are flashing in my eyes and I can almost make out the image of two people, Izzy and Mel. "Leave me alone, Mel!" Izzy yells.

"Isabelle, you were speeding. Last I checked, and I do it often, speeding was against the law.

"You're just being an asshole."

"And you're being non-compliant. I can arrest you for that Isabelle," He retorted. To anyone who didn't know the history between them this may seem odd, but it's not odd to me. Meliorn and Isabelle dated before she and Simon and I'm pretty sure he never got over her. I opened the screen door back up and pulled on my boots then headed out to where they were fighting.

"Seriously you two," I plant my hands on my hips and say sternly. "My dad is asleep and you're out here yelling at one another. For God sake Mel, turn the damn lights off." Mel sighs and reaches inside the car to do as I ask and Izzy rolls her eyes. "Now what the hell is going on?"

"She was all over the road, Clary! I could have her tagged for speeding, reckless driving and have cause for a breathalyzer." I shake my head and walk up to Izzy, who is shaking like a leaf on a cold windy day. Her face is tracked with tears and her mascara is running. I push her hair out of her face and she sniffles.

"I got her, Mel." I say without looking at him.

"Clary, I can't just… "

"I said," I jerked my head in his direction, "I've got her." Mel shifts on his feet and hangs his head with a sigh.

"If I see her car on the road again tonight, she's spending the rest of it in a cell. You understand?"

"Don't be a pompous prick. I said I got her." Mel throws his hands up and falls into the seat of his cruiser. We watch as he pulls away, and when he's well on his way to town I wrap my arms around Izzy's shoulder and lead her into the house. "What's going on, Izzy?" I ask and set her down at the table. Her head falls into her hands and her inky hair covers her face. I can hear the soft sobs and see the rise and fall of her back. I've never seen Isabelle cry and this hits me hard. "Izzy?" I whisper and crouch beside her. One of her hands falls to her lap and she starts to laugh.

"Why can't I have your life?" I jerk my head back and furrow my brows. My life is not one that I would wish on even my enemy, and here sits one of my best friends, asking for it.

"Tell me what's going on." She lifts her head and shifts her body toward me. Her eyes are red and swollen, cheeks flushed and she has make-up all over the place.

"I'm pregnant, Clary." My jaw falls and Izzy sniffs a laugh. "I guess I should be glad it didn't happen before we graduated, right?"

"Have you told Si?" She nods to my question but looks away.

"He proposed."

"And there's something wrong with that?"

"I'm not ready for this," Izzy shakes her head and presses the heels of her palms to her cheeks to wipe away the tears. "I'm not ready to be a wife or a mother."

"I don't think anyone is ever ready to be either, but it's what people do, Izzy. They fall in love then get married and have babies. You love Simon, don't you?" Izzy's head falls back and I stand, grab hold of her cheeks and make her look at me. "You do love him, right?"

"Of course I do," she rasps, "But I feel like I'll be stuck if I have this baby. I feel like my life is over. I've never even been out of this state. And you, you're going to travel the world!" she smiles and I frown.

"Iz," I sigh, "Everybody has dreams. Just because you dream them, doesn't mean they will come true."

"You won't be stuck with a baby. You can still make your dreams come true."

"At what cost? You have the opportunity to build a life with the one person who makes you happy." Her smile falls and she cocks her head.

"Is this about Alec?" I shake my head no. "You're lying. Are you telling me that you would have given up your dream to be stuck here living a predictable life, with five kids hanging off your skirt for Alec?"

"No," I say, "Alec would have never asked me to give up my dreams and Simon isn't asking that of you either. He's asking you to share your dreams, live them out together. Maybe having this baby means you have to wait to do what you want, but it doesn't mean you'll never get to do it. You might even find that your old dreams aren't what you want anymore and create new ones. Having a baby isn't the end of your life. It's just the start of a new one."

"Maybe you're right," Izzy hangs her head and fidgets in her lap. She looks up at me again and her eyes are shining. "I'm just so scared. What if I screw up? What if…" I shush her and wipe her tears.

"It's O.K. to be afraid," I smile at her, "A new adventure wouldn't be an adventure if it didn't make you shit your pants. And it's O.K. if you screw up. Do you think our parents thought they had it all figured out when we were born? Do you think they didn't make mistakes with us? They did! And we turned out alright," I bob my head from left to right; "At least I like to think so." Izzy laughs.

"This is why I love you," she says wrapping her arms around my middle. "It's why Alec loves you still." She looks up at me suddenly and her eyes grow wide.

"What?"

"Alec, he had a little chat with Kaelie's man today."

"Oh?" I raise a brow in question. This can't be good.

"Yeah," she nods. "He told him not to hurt you."

"How could Jace hurt me?"

"He lives with Bennet, Clary. Do you honestly think that he's not using Jace to get information on the farm?"

"I really don't think that matters, Izzy."

"What if all this is happening because of Bennet?"

"This isn't happening because of Jeffery Bennet, Isabelle. This is happening because my mom used all our money to pay for my dad's treatments instead of the mortgage on the farm." She gives me a look to say, 'You're delusional if you believe that,' and shakes her head. "I need to go to bed," I sigh, "Jace will be here early to get started."

"I'd let him get started on me," Izzy wiggles her brows and smirks.

"Isabelle," I chastise and she shrugs. "You need to call Si," I point my finger at her. Izzy rolls her eyes and slumps in the chair. "Izzy, at least let him know you're alright. He called me freaking out."

"I'll call in the morning."

"You'll call now. Just tell him you're at my house and that you'll talk in the morning." She nods slowly and I smile. "I'm going up stairs, just crawl in when you're done." I shuffled back to my room, but wait to hear the beep of my dad's monitor before climbing all the way up the steps. When I'm satisfied by that my mind shifts to Jace. I thought I was sheltered in this small country town, but it turns out he wasn't any different. He came from another world but is just as secluded as I am here. I could never imagine growing up having never seen a real life cow.

I crawl under my quilt and my eyes flutter shut. Jace's smiling face is beaming at me and I get that warm tingly feeling just below my belly button. With Izzy being knocked up, the one night stand search is out of the question. I can't go out without my wing girl. I drift slowly and am vaguely aware when Izzy climbs into my bed, but I don't say anything. I'm too tired and she needs to sort some of this out on her own. I've never been in her position, but I don't imagine it's an easy one. I'll be there for her and support her, but this is her decision.

I wake the next morning tired as hell and ghost into the bathroom like I'm literally the walking dead. The hot shower isn't even doing its job to wake me up. I need coffee, stat! I dress in my normal jeans, a t-shirt and pull my boots on. Mom and Luke are already at the table when I come down, and so is Jace. He looks bright eyed and bushy tailed as he scoops up some eggs and shovels them into his mouth. "Morning," He chimes and I give a small wave as I slump into the chair next to him. "Rough night?"

"Coffee, Clary?" My mom asks. I nod to her and sigh.

"Best friend crisis," I answer Jace.

"I see," he says and takes another bite. I take this time to devour his image. He's wearing loose fitting jeans and tennis shoes and a grey long sleeve shirt that leaves me lacking a visual at what's hidden underneath. Luke looks at him like he's a foreign creature and shakes his head. It's a good thing I won't have him working too hard. All ranchers know you don't wear baggy clothes, too much of a chance of getting caught on something and getting hurt.

"Jace is milking cows this morning, Luke," I say as my mom hands me a steaming cup of coffee, black just the way I like it. Luke looks up from his plate and stares wide eyed at me, then at Jace.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" he asks.

"I'll be there to make sure he doesn't get too much dirt under his nails," I joke and Jace looks down at his hands then back up to me before rubbing his palms against his pants.

"There is a very good reason why men have clean nails, Clary," Jace replies.

"I bet," I smile. His jaw shifts to the side while his lips pull up in the opposite side. I can tell he's running his tongue over his teeth behind his lips and at the thought of his tongue; goose bumps cover the skin on my arms. My eyes lock on his honey orbs and he holds me in that moment. Oh my God! What he could do with that tongue. The tingle is back and I shift uncomfortably in my chair. Then I un-cross and re-cross my legs, just like Aline had done yesterday when he smiled at her. I internally curse myself because Jace watches me do it. He finally releases the hold he had on me and goes back to his breakfast with a shit eating grin on his face.

I'm beginning to think he was put on this earth to torture me or all women for that matter. No man should be that gorgeous and have the ability to make you squirm in your seat with just one look. My mom places a plate of food in front of me and I pile it in while trying to shake the feelings rolling around inside me. Jace makes me nervous, that's something no man has ever done. He makes me lose trust in myself, and I don't like it. He makes me feel things I shouldn't feel, and it's unnerving. I finish my food just as Luke is pushing away from the table and I gulp down the rest of my coffee, kiss my mom on the cheek and motion for Jace to come with us.

Once we're in the barn, we gather the milk machines; we usually run a few at a time. Luke makes sure everything else is in order before giving me the go ahead. I lead Jace over to Bessie, my favorite cow, and crouch down beside her. "You remember what I told you yesterday?" Jace nods. "O.K, I already attached the milk machine to the main line. The next task is to sanitize the teat." Jace's lips thin and his eyes brows shoot up. I laugh. "Her nipples, Jace." He closes his eyes and shakes his head. I use this opportunity to reach under Bessie, aim the teat in Jace's direction and spray him in the face. I laugh when his mouth falls open and he opens one eye as milk is dripping down his face.

"Not funny," He says spitting out milk. This only makes me laugh harder and I spray him again. "I'm so going to get you for this." He holds his arms out like he's been drenched. Milk is spilling down the front of his shirt and it beads in his hair. I push the wet strands out of his face and regret it the moment his soft curls filter through my fingers. I clear my throat and pick up the bottle of blue liquid.

"Here, dip each teat into this," I hand it to him and watch as he clumsily leans forward. He looks so out of place it makes me smile. He's being a good sport, even if I am trying to make this a living hell for him. After handing me back the bottle of sanitizer, Jace reaches out for the milker. When I give it to him, our fingers brush one another making mine tingle. He stands with a smile on his face once he's done and smacks his hands together. "Maybe we'll make a dairy farmer out of you yet," I say.

"Maybe," he winks. "So now what?"

"Now we move to the next cow. The little black box up there," I point to where the milk machine is attached to main line, "will register how much milk we get from her and beep when she's done." I'm surprised at how well Jace does through this process, and besides a few gross faces, he doesn't complain.

"So what's next," he asks slapping his hands on the backs of his legs.

"Now, we feed the rest of the animals." I lead out to the pigs and make him carry the slop. He looks on, disgusted, while they enjoy their breakfast and I bump my arm against his and smile. We spread seed for the chickens and haul hay out for the horses, goats and sheep. "We milk them too ya know?" I raise a brow and smirk.

"Milk what?"

"The goats." I chime. "Where do you think chocolate milk comes from?"

"A plastic jug," he answers flatly. I can't help but giggle when his face falls at the thought of milking again.

"No, chocolate milk comes from mixing chocolate with milk. I thought even a city boy would know that." My lips curl to one side and he smirks.

"Smart ass."

"I try really hard to live up to people's expectations." He sniffs a laugh and reaches out for Caramel. She's my prized horse, a pure bread Arabian. She's the fastest thing on four legs and she's been the grand champion barrel racer three years in a row. This year we'll go for four.

"I've never touched a real horse before," He murmurs.

"They're beautiful creatures." I reach out and Caramel leans her snout into my hand, hoping for a carrot or an apple, maybe even a sugar cube.

"I get the cows and the pigs and chickens, but why the rest?"

"Sheep for wool, goats for meat, and horses for racing. Everything here has a purpose. And all of this," I motion around us, "Is for them. My dad was always an animal lover. We had dogs once, but after I moved away and after the last one died my parents never got anymore. There are stray cats running around that my mom feeds but they're not pets."

"And what's your purpose?" I let my hand fall from Caramel and looked at him. He's leaning against the fence, genuinely interested in my answer, and I don't have one besides…

"To make sure this place runs with or without my dad. It was his life…"

"And when he's gone?" Jace asks. My heart lodges in my throat and I shiver. I know he's not asking to make me feel bad, but I can't help it.

"When he's gone, it'll be my life." I turn away and fight the tears.

"It seems to me that it already is," Jace whispers and I turn to him just as one tear slides down my cheek. He collects it with a soft swipe of his thumb and gives me a sad smile.

* * *

Thar ye be. Ya'll know the drill.

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	7. He Stopped Loving Her Today

******************__****An Update! YAY! I'll say little. Enjoy!**

******************__****I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"Clary," Luke's voice called behind us. She and I turned just as he was jogging toward us. "The fence at the south end of the property needs to be fixed. I'm going to ride out and take care of it."

"No," she shook her head. "I can do it. Jace needs to go out there anyway. It'll kill two birds with one stone."

"It's a long way out." He gave me a fleeting glance and then his attention went back to Clary. "You'll have to take the horses."

"I know, but he still needs to be taken out there. So, I might as well do it." Clary shrugs. Luke sighs and gives her a defeated nod. "Come on, Jace," She motions me to follow her inside the fence with the horses. She saunters over to a black and white one and took him by the harness around his head. "You'll ride Oreo. He's the most calm of all our horses. I'll ride Pepper." She points to a black horse across the field. I've never ridden a horse and frankly, this kinda scares the shit out of me. She can see the unsure look on my face and walks Oreo over to me. "Here pet him, talk to him, get comfortable with him. I'll warn you, your ass will be sore after a few hours."

"A few hours?" I ask and raise a brow.

"Yeah, a few hours," She sniffs a laugh. "It'll take us at least four to get to the edge of the fence, then we have to fix it, and another four hours to get back. So you'd better call that girlfriend of yours and tell her not to expect you anytime soon." That sounds better already. I whip out my phone and text Kaelie, 'B home l8. Don't w8 up.' She sends back a sad face and I tuck the phone back into my pocket. Clary heads off in the direction of another barn, the one that holds the horses, and comes back with a saddle. "Here," she says handing me the bundle of leather and a blanket. "Put it on Oreo's back. I'm going to go get my saddle and then I'll show you how to cinch it." I nod and do as she says.

Never did I ever expect to be riding a horse. I've done some stupid shit in my life but riding an animal never crossed my mind. Clary comes back with her own saddle and I watch her toss it on her horses back and tighten the strap under the horse's belly. I would do the same, but with my luck, I'd get killed. She doesn't give me the luxury of standing by while she does all the work, she makes me do it. All the while I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to get on this damn thing. Clary nods her approval when I'm done then instructs me on how to mount Oreo.

"O.K. put your foot in the strirrup," she points to a leather flap hanging next to Oreo's rib cage, "Hold on to the horn, and pull yourself up." I turn to look at her in question. Last I knew, horses didn't have horns. She laughs and points to a hard knob sticking up at the front of the saddle.

"That's the horn of the saddle. Use it as leverage to pull up." I do as she says and the saddle starts to turn toward me, but I move fast and manage to hoist myself up. "Not bad for a greenhorn." Clary smirks and I shake my head.

"Clary," Jocelyn calls from the front door. Clary turns to her and she makes her way out to us with a basket in hand. "I made you guys something to eat. There's sandwiches and water inside. There's a storm coming this way so take these just in case." Jocelyn hands Clary a set of keys and I cock my head in question. Keys for what? Clary hugs her mom and kisses her on the cheek, then mounts Pepper and trots toward me. I thought I'd have issues getting on a horse, and she is shorter than I am, but she did it like it was second nature to her.

"You ready?" she chimes with a smile.

"As I'll ever be," I sigh.

"It's fine, just like driving a car; move the reins in the direction you want Oreo to go and he'll obey. If you want him to stop, tug them back. Nudge his ribs to get him to move forward, just not too hard or he'll run and you're not ready for that."

"O.K." I say and Clary gives me a wry smile. She keeps Pepper close to Oreo, even though the horse pushes to be ahead of mine. Clary doesn't say much, and I don't either. She points out random pieces of interest and tells them what they are or were used for, and by the time we're two hours into our ride, my ass I sore. I shift in my saddle and Clary giggles. "You know," I say after I've managed to become a little more comfortable. "I think I know why all girls want a pony."

"Oh?" Clary glances sideways at me, "Why's that?"

"The friction in the saddle," I say matter of fact. Clary busts out laughing. It echoes in the wide open space. I have to say, this is the most beautiful view I've ever seen, light blue skies blanketed with white fluffy clouds and mountain peaks taller than the Empire State Building. The air is nice and crisp but the wind brings a little bit of a chill with it. I've found that late May isn't the warmest of months in Augusta.

"Have you ever thought that girls just want ponies because they're pretty?"

"Maybe when their little girls, but girls your age," I shake my head. "It's all about the friction in the saddle. Tell me you've never had an orgasm from saddle friction and I'll let it go." Clary snorts a laugh and I smirk.

"I've never had an orgasm from saddle friction, and I ride a lot."

"Do you now?"

"HORSES!" She elaborates.

"Uh huh, glad we're on the same page." Clary rolls her eyes and we fall back into silence until we reach the fence. One of the posts has been knocked over leaving a wide gap for any animal to get through. "How does this happen?"

"Weather, one of the horses pushing on it, there are a few different ways. It's not a hard fix. Come on," Clary hops off of Pepper and pulls two pairs of gloves out of a satchel attached to the saddle. She hands me a pair and we and we both shove our hands inside. "It's not electric, so you don't have to worry about anything but the barbs. They can pierce through the gloves if you're not careful." She blows a curl out of her face, and it strikes me that I hadn't noticed it wasn't pulled back in a braid. I like her hair wild and untamed.

The post looked like it had been picked up and left to lie on the ground. She was right. It would be an easy fix. I helped her lift the post, shove it back in the hole in the ground and watched as she fiddled with the wire a bit before removing her gloves and smiling. The smile didn't last long. A crack of thunder made the both of us jump and look up. The once fluffy clouds were turning dark gray and it looked like a blurry window was covering the scenery in front of us. Clary spun to face me and we quickly mounted our horses.

"We need to try and stay ahead of it," She said, but on horses at walking speed, staying ahead of a storm that came out of nowhere seemed like a fat chance to me. We'd only been moving a half an hour when the rain hit, both of us hunched over to try and stay as warm was we could. Clary didn't take the same route back that we'd taken to get here and after being drenched in freezing water for about twenty minutes, we strode up to a wood cabin with a small barn attached. We slid off the horses and led them inside, shivering and teeth chattering. We shut the horses in the small stable, gave them hay, covered them with blankets and headed inside the cabin.

"What is this place?" I ask once inside.

"M-my dad," Clary stuttered. "He b-built this p-place a long t-time ag-go." There was no electricity, which meant no heat and our bones were already icicles. "I'll get some different clothes," Clary said and turned to the right, past the small kitchen and living room. There was a fireplace and a couch in the living space, a stove that looked foreign to me and a sink in the kitchen. It was apparent that this place was here for necessity, not luxury. I pulled my shirt off and wrung it out in the sink as I waited for Clary to come back. I had no idea what time it was or where we were, but I really didn't care either.

"I grabbed you some of my dad's old…" Clary trailed off when she rounded the kitchen corner. I stood shirtless in front of her, and watched as her eyes traveled from my face to my chest, my stomach, and settled on the defined V in my hips that I worked hard to put there. I smiled and crossed my arms. That seemed to snap her out of whatever fantasy she was having. Her eyes came back to mine and her jaw hung wide. Clary closed her eyes, took a deep breath in and bit her bottom lip.

"Here," she held out a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt. She'd found a flannel button up that hung too long on her arms and fell almost to her knees. Her hair was a mess, but a good mess, and I wanted to run my fingers through her tangles. "You can change back there. I'll start a fire." She pointed to whatever room she just came out of and I gave a curt nod. I pushed through the door of a small bedroom. A twin bed sat tucked next to the only window in the room and a dresser was opposite of it. I managed to get out of my soaked jeans and pull on the clothes she gave me.

When I came back out, Clary already had a fire started and was working on the sandwiches her mother had made. "I thought you'd probably be hungry," She handed me a plate and smiled.

"Thanks," I reply and woof that sandwich down like it's the last meal I'll ever eat. I'm still cold, and I imagine that Clary is too since she's only wearing a shirt that looks like a horrible dress, but it looks sexy on her. The top two buttons are undone, hiding a little too much and there are slits alone the outsides of her legs that don't go up far enough. It leaves too much to my imagination, and my mind goes crazy. I sit next to her on the VERY uncomfortable couch and we eat in silence.

"So what is it?" Clary turns her head to ask.

"What's what?"

"What is it about her?"

"Kaelie?" My voice takes a tone of surprise. Kaelie is the last person I wanted to pop up in conversation. Clary nods and sets her plate down on the floor. "I really couldn't say. We've been together so long I guess it just seemed like the next step to take."

"You don't love her?"

"I wouldn't say that," I shake my head, but when I look back at her, I instantly regret my answer. "There are different ways to love people. You can love a person, and you can be IN love with a person. I just don't know if I've reached the IN love part with her. She's great, and I love her for who she is and all that she's done, but that's all I can say at this point."

"Then why did you ask her?"

"Next step," I repeat.

"Convenience," she says. I bob my head left to right and shake my head.

"There is nothing convenient about Kaelie." Clary smiles and agrees. We sit quietly after that, and it takes everything in me not to reach over and pull her in.

"I think I'm going to go to bed," Clary says. I turn to her in surprise. It doesn't seem like it should be late enough for bed, but I didn't know exactly how long we'd sat there and stared at the fire either. It could have been midnight for all I knew. The world outside was black, wet, and shivering. I was still cold myself. I nod at Clary and smile. "Do you want the bed," she points to the back room, "Or the couch." Neither seemed like promising prospects but I was fine where I was.

"I'm fine here."

"O.K, Good night," Clary waves and I watch until I can no longer see her amidst the darkness. I lie down on the couch, tuck the quilt hanging off the back around me and watch the licks of fire until my eyes droop. It wasn't even an hour later when I heard the floor boards creak and the sound pulled me out of my sleepy haze. I'd gotten hot at some point and pulled my shirt off, so when I sat up to find the source, Clary's eyes widened and she bit her lip again.

"You alright?" I ask and rub my eyes.

"Yeah, it's just really cold back there. The heat isn't reaching to the back room. I'll end up losing some fingers and toes if I stay back there." She laughs and looks away. "I'm just gonna sleep on the floor."

"You're not sleeping on the floor," I say and she looks up with wide eyes. I move on my side and lift the quilt. "There's room here." Clary gives me a worried glance and I say the first thing that comes to mind. "Just pretend I'm Alec." Shit! NO! Don't pretend I'm Alec. I am NOT like Alec, but that would be the problem in the first place. She ponders my offer and then tip-toes over and slides in next to me. "You're freezing," I shiver when her cold clothes press into my skin.

"I told you I was bordering losing appendages," Clary whispered. I run my hand up and down her arm to warm her up and stop when she's no longer shaking. Her hair smells like vanilla and rain and I just want to touch her skin. The fire flickers making her hair brighter in some areas and darker in others. "Jace," Clary murmurs startling me. I'd thought she'd fallen asleep. When I don't answer, she turns her head to face me her lips only a breath away from mine. "I thought you were asleep." I shake my head slowly. There's no way I could sleep with ass pressed up against my dick. Oh Christ! I need to start thinking about something else, but I can't help it. She's staring at me with her big green eyes, endless fields of grass pulling me in.

I don't realize that I'm actually leaning in until I feel her breath on my lips. I stop just before touching her and open my eyes. The next move is hers and she surprises me by closing her eyes and running her bottom lip over both of my lips. I want to pull her in and explore every inch of her mouth, but I don't. I wait until she is ready, and when she stills her movements, that's when I take my chance. I pull her bottom lip between my teeth gently and then suck on it. A rush of air breaks past her lips like she'd been holding her breath, and I press my palm against her cheek. Her tongue meets mine in a perfect dance and she tastes…God!

My hand slips lower under the blanket until it's resting on her hip and my fingertips press achingly into her bone. Clary moans and it sends a shock through my body. I let my hand fall and find where the shirt separates and press it against the smooth skin of her stomach. I can feel the goose bumps erupt below my finger tips as I edge them closer to her panty line. I push lower and her breath hitches. Her fingernails dig into my forearm and she breaks the kiss. I use my hand to press her body closer to mine and she sighs as she turns away.

I run my lips along her shoulder and find her hand underneath the blanket. With her hand on top of mine, I laced our fingers, and when I reached her ear with my lips I whispered, "Show me how to make you feel good," And I lowered them to where my hand originally was. She turned to look at me again, and her eyes sparkle. Our hands travel lower, and lower until Clary has me rubbing circles into her warm, moist flesh. Our eyes are locked the entire time until her breathing picks up and I push two fingers inside her. Clary's head rolls back onto my shoulder and her hips move with the rhythm I've set.

I want to make her come. I want to hear her, and feel it inside her, but not yet. I stop and Clary pouts. I move from behind her on the couch and she rolls to her back. I smile and bite my lip before kissing her again. Clary pulls me completely on top of her and I allow this for a moment before sitting up on my knees and tugging her hips to bring us closer. Clary smiles and I start to unbutton her shirt. Each movement I make is slow and deliberate and it kills me. I don't want to do anything slow. I want fast and hard, but I can't do that with Clary, because I also want to absorb every inch of her, remember exactly how each part of her body feels.

I kiss my way up her body and smile when she squirms. Her hands find their way into my sweats, and for someone with small hands, she knows exactly how to use them. Being the control freak I am, I take those beautiful hands and hold them above her head, our fingers locked and then I slide into her. I'm pretty sure we had both been holding our breath because when I bury myself as deep as I can go, we exhale together. I let her hands go so I can hold her cheeks while I kiss her and my body begs me to move. She feels so good that I've decided if I were to die in this very moment, I'd be happy. I would have experienced the best feeling the world had to offer, and then I moved.

Our paces match, our breathing synced, and I knew that no other person would complement me better than Clary. I didn't know if I could live a life without her after this. I brought us both to a crescendo, her pants quicker and her voice a soft whisper as my name rolls off her tongue. I hadn't felt her nails in my back until she moved her hands and I could feel the sting, but it was a good sting. I push her curls from her forehead and press my own to it. Tears run down the sides of her face and I roll her on top of me and hold her until we both fall asleep.

* * *

_**Don't forget to name that Artist for a snippet!**_

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	8. I Melt

**So it was brought to my attention that it has been over a month since I last updated and first I want to express my sincerest apologies. The last month has been...crazy and the struggle has just begun. I will however promise to do my best to keep updates coming in a timely manner. I have in no way abandoned the story. I've just been bombarded with other things and have even found it hard to write. The mind is a funny thing lemme tell ya! But here is your chpt and again I am SO sorry that it has been so long. **

******************__****I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

I pull in a breath, and the sweet, musky smell that my brain associates with Jace fills my nose. It's a good scent, and it makes me tingle all over. My body flushes with heat and I shift. The surface I'm lying on is hard yet, soft and warm. I pull my hand closer to my face, grazing the plane below me, and I freeze. My eyes fly open and all I see is a perfectly sculpted wall of tan muscle. Jace's fingers twitch on my lower back and I realize I'm naked…no…we're naked. It hadn't been a dream and the tingling sensation wasn't there because he smelled good. It was there as a reminder the of fact that I hadn't had sex with anyone since Alec.

I close my eyes remembering the way his hands lit my skin on fire and his lips kissed away the fear. I remember hearing him whisper, 'Show me how to make you feel good,' and thinking that he wouldn't need me to show him because anything he did would feel good. I create a small figure eight with the tips of my fingers on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. If I only ever got this one moment with him, it would be worth it no matter the cost. Last night had been amazing. I never knew it was possible to feel such things; heat, unrestrained passion, a need so strong that it's blinding.

Jace's hand runs up my spine making me jerk and I smile against his skin. His legs come up like walls and all of a sudden, we're lying on our sides and he has me pinned between his body and the back of the couch. He buries his nose in my hair at the top of my head and I look up just in time to see a smirk tug his lips to one side. Before I can speak his hands cups my cheek and his lips are on mine. I've melted, literally, and despite the ache between my legs I want more. I swing my leg over his hip and reach between us. Jace's chest rumbles with a deep growl that I can feel in my own body when I take him in my hands. He's already hard and I know I'm wet, but his fingers find the spot I want them in. He takes my breath away and for a minute, I forget that I wanted to run the show.

I bite my bottom lip and turn us over once more. I mount him slowly. Jace's eyes are half lidded and dark. His lips are parted, and when he licks them, it makes my temperature rise. He holds my hips, guides them, and it's too slow. The heat between us makes the burn worse, but I take his hands and link our fingers. Using them as leverage, I thrust my hips forward. Jace's head falls back as he hisses, "Fuuuuuck." I whimper as the sudden jolt sends him right where I need him and my insides clench. Jace knows, I know he can feel it and he pushes his hips up. I didn't think it was possible to get him deeper, but it was, and with that small movement he nearly had me a twitching mess. As I'm about to move, Jace shakes his head, "Wait," He whispers and presses the palm of his hand just below my belly button, his long fingers splaying across my skin. With his other hand he grabs hold of my hip and tilts my pelvis forward.

This tiny movement is all it takes for my eyes to flutter shut, my head to fall back, and a moan to force its way free from my lips. I just need to do that one more time, but Jace won't let me. He pushes his fingers into my hair and pulls my lips down to his. "You have no idea how good you feel," each word is a puff of breath against my lips.

"Likewise," I breathe, and Jace smiles. I lift my hips almost completely away from him and then back down quickly. The force of our bodies meeting makes us both exhale and I lock our hands to keep him from stopping me again. I want him to come apart beneath me. Our bodies are slick and I slide against him easily. His hands come down and find the same positions they had before, one on my belly and one on my hip. It's deep and it's perfect and I realized he's flipped my game on me as the first wave rocks my body. My own movements slow but Jace picks up and moves beneath me. He still moves slow, but hard. I force my eyes to open so I can see him, muscles tense, fingers digging bruises into my skin, eyes clenched tight, and mouth open. He's beautiful and I press my lips against his ear to murmur, "Jace, come for me."

One more thrust sends a second wave ripping through me. "God Clary," Jace moans as he moves faster, tense and twitchy. We're as high as we're going to get. Jace is the only person who's commanded my body like this, and I love it. He makes me feel things I've never felt. The only sounds in the cabin are that of our labored breaths. My body is buzzing and every nerve is on hyper-drive. Each graze of his finger-tips, deliberate or not, sends shivers down my spine. I feel Jace release a breath as he tucks a few curls behind my ear. I can close my eyes and pretend for just a few moments longer.

"Do we have to go back?" Jace asks as if he plucked my thoughts from my head. I sigh enjoying the feel of his fingers combing through my hair. "I can't go back and pretend this didn't happen." My serene moment is gone. My eyes burst open and my breath hitches in my throat. I look up and meet his gaze.

"You have to," I blurt without thinking. Jace's brows fuse together and he frowns. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

"But it did," he says shaking his head.

"I know," I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Twice," Jace reminds me, like I could ever forget.

"I KNOW!" I need to move away from him to think more clearly, and that's when I realize that our bodies are still connected. The thought of losing him sends a hurt through me that I've never felt before. I haven't even moved yet and it hurts more than Alec telling me he was gay. 'He's not yours,' that annoying voice at the back of my head chimes in, like her two cents were needed at this point, and I push up from his chest. The look on his face says he doesn't understand. He doesn't get how we can go from mind blowing, body numbing sex to…this. But the fact is that, he isn't mine. He has a fiancé to go home to. He created a life before me and I couldn't pull him into the mess I'd made of my life. I pull my body away from his slowly, feeling the loss of him rip though me and find my shirt on the floor.

"Clary…" he whispers and I cut him off.

"We need to go. Everyone will be wondering where we are." I turn away and make my way back to the bedroom. I fight tears the whole way. How could something so perfect be so wrong? How could I let this happen? We only met a few days ago and I already know that what he and I shared was more powerful than anything I ever had with Alec. I love Alec. I will always have love for Alec, and that can only mean one thing: I'm in love with Jace, and that's why this hurt so much. I've made a terrible mistake, and I can't do this to myself again.

When I emerge from the bedroom, Jace is dressed in the sweatpants I gave him last night with his head in his hands. He looks up at me, and I see the same things I feel written in his expression. I want to go to him and let him wrap his arms around me, but I turn and head for the door. Jace beats me to it and puts his hands on my shoulders. "We need to talk about this," he says. "There's no way I can force myself to act like this didn't mean anything." I regret my words before I say them.

"You can and you will," I say firmly, "Because it didn't mean anything." This lie hurts worse than any other fucked up part of this situation. It did mean something. It means everything, but I have to make it nothing. I have to push it down like every other shitty part of my life and move on. Jace has a woman who loves him, and even though I may not like Kaelie, there's a small part of me that wants to be loyal to her. I do wish her the best and hope she has her happy ending. For her, that happy ending includes Jace. I won't take that from her.

Jace's eyebrows lift to his hairline and I shift out of his grasp. I set my jaw and Jace straightens. We stare at one another for what seems like forever, and then he sighs. I cross my arms and he runs his hand through his hair. "Fine, Clary, nothing happened." His hand comes down and slaps his leg and then he walks past me. I watch until he disappears around the corner and then I cover my mouth to try and suppress the sob threating to claw out of my chest. I go outside to busy myself with the horses until Jace is ready, and when he comes out to meet me, he won't even look me in the eye.

It's a long three hours of silence. I've never been surrounded by so much life and beauty, but felt so alone and dead. Jace took something from me last night, something I'll never get back, and I wish I knew how to supplement that loss. But there's no way to replace your heart. My dad told me once that every person has one great love in their life, and if you're lucky enough to find it you should never let it go. I realized that I'd found mine, but he never was mine. There's no way for me to fix this now. I've given away too much, something Jace can't give in return.

We ride up to the stable where Luke is waiting for us. Jace hops off of Oreo and hands Luke the reins with a nod and heads straight for my house. Luke questions me up and down about the weather and the cabin, but all I can do is nod or shake my head. "Hey, kid," Luke pulls my attention away from Jace finally. "You alright?" I give a small smile and nod. Jace comes back out and shoves his hands deep in his pockets. He watches the ground as he walks, his long legs making quick work of closing the distance between him and his car. I jog up and meet him at the driver's side door and cock my head. "Where are you going?"

"To the Bennett's house," He shrugs.

"But you haven't seen everything."

"I've seen enough. If the bank needs any more information, someone will call." I don't want him to go. I know I pushed him away, but I didn't want him to just leave like this. I wade through the mess in my head trying to come up with some reason to keep him here and come up short. I nod instead, wrap my arms around my middle and step away from his car. He opens the door and turns to look at me just as I open my mouth to say something about last night. "Nothing happened, Clary. It doesn't matter," he says throwing my own words back at me then shutting the car door. I back up and watch him drive away, out of my life.

I turn and head back to the house in a daze. Everything around me is a blur and even the sounds and smells I'm accustomed to are foreign. My mother gawks at me from the kitchen doorway as I make my way toward my father. I hear the steady beeps signifying his heart and wonder what mine would sound like coming from that machine. It wouldn't be normal or even close to as steady as his. In fact, I'm pretty sure it would be silent. I hadn't known it last night but Jace was the final nail in my coffin. He lit me on fire and left me a smoking, scorched mess. I crawled in the bed with my dad, and curled my body next to his. "Hi Daddy," I choke on my words. I knew he was asleep and that he wouldn't hear me, but I thought if I talked this pain would go away.

"I fixed the fence out at the south end of the property," My voice shook and I cleared my throat to try and sound calm. Calm didn't even come close to how I felt. I was a bomb ready to explode, and whatever survived the aftermath wouldn't be pretty. My dad always had a way of keeping me level headed, but he couldn't even make this go away. Tears ran down my cheeks and soaked his white and blue hospital gown. How do I tell him how much of a screw up I am, knowing that's exactly what my brother was? I couldn't let him die thinking he'd failed with both of his children.

"Clary," my mom cooed. I look up and wipe the stray tears from my face. "Simon is here." I sigh because I could have shed tears two days ago and Simon would know. There was no getting around this. I would have to tell him, and then listen to him tell me how horrible my actions were while he shook his finger at me. I pushed off the bed and peaked into the hallway. Simon stood at the front door with his hands in his pockets waiting, and when he saw me I jerked my head toward the stairs. He nods and follows me up.

"What's wrong?" Simon asks before the door is even secure behind us. I sit down on my bed and pushed my fingers into my hair.

"I screwed up, Si." Simon sits down next to me on the bed and grabs my hands. They're shaking and he gives me a worried look.

"How could you screw up?" I sit straight and sniff back my tears while trying to fight the maniacal laugh aching in my chest. It breaks free despite my best efforts and then the flood gates open. Simon leans me forward and rubs my back while I fight for air. I don't know what's happening to me. Simon tries to sooth me and then says, "Clary, you're scaring the hell out of me. I've never seen you like this. Tell me what's wrong?"

"Everything about my life is wrong," I push through my teeth. Simon leans back as if I'm about to hit him and I sigh. "I fall in love with the wrong people, my dad's dying, I can't save the ranch….everything is wrong!"

"Clary, where is this coming from? None of this is your fault."

"Not my fault?" I look at him like he's just said the most offensive thing anyone could say.

"You can't control everything. You're not supposed to."

"I can control enough." Simon looks at me with a question on his mind and I answer, "I slept with Jace."

"City boy, Jace?" I nod and he runs his fingers through is hair. "Kaelie Bennett's Jace?" I nod again. "Slept how? Was it like, 'hey we need to sleep next to one another to keep hypothermia away' …or 'hey, nice clothes, but you'd look better without them,' type of deal?" I look up with a guilty expression and his eyes widen. "Oh, shit! And what was said after?"

"He wanted to talk about it. He said he couldn't come back here and pretend it didn't happen…"

"Oh, Clary. What did you do?" The tears fall again and my lip quivers.

"I told him it didn't mean anything," a sob rips through my chest and Simon pulls me into his arms. "I told him he needed to go back to her because it was nothing and means nothing."

"But it did…" he looks down at me, "It meant everything." I nod and ball his t-shirt in my fist. "Sometimes you're too good of a person, you know that?"

"What kind of good person sleeps with a man engaged to someone else?"

"A person in love," Simon whispers and it makes the tears come harder. He knows me so well that I don't even have to tell him. He can see it. "Maybe the actions themselves were wrong, but the reasons behind them weren't. Even the best of people make bad decisions, Clary. We're not a perfect people."

"I don't know him well enough to love him, Si," I murmur. It's the oldest excuse in the book and he shakes his head.

"You have to know people before you can love them? Did your parents know you before they loved you?"

"That's different."

"I can't say I truly knew Izzy before I loved her, but I knew I loved her none the less. It's what you do know about him that makes you love him, not what you don't know." What did I know about Jace? I knew the obvious. He's beautiful; from his curly blond hair to his perfectly sculpted body, he is pure perfection in human form. He's sweet and funny and charming and sexy and…everything I could ask for. Simon was right. I didn't need to know his life's story to be in love with him. I didn't need to know every tiny detail of his existence. I just needed to know him for who he was now, and it was all of those things that made me love him. The point still remains, I can love him with all my heart, but he belongs to someone else.

* * *

_**Don't forget to tell me the name of the artist who sang the song the chpt title is named after. **_

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_**Until next time**_

_**XoXo**_

_**LivyBug**_


	9. T-R-O-U-B-L-E

I hope the wait wasn't too long. I've had little time to do anything, but I have managed to finish a chapter. It only took three months but hey. It's a good thing I'm ahead in writing this. So, I'll talk less and let ya'll read. :)

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Chapter 9

When I walked in the door, I was beat. I needed a shower, a shot of Jack and sleep, exactly in that order. My head was a mess, pounding like I'd just spent all night drowning in tequila after being spun around in rapid succession. I wanted to be alone to wallow in my own self-pity. I'd had her, touched her, made love to her, and that was something I'd never done with anyone. I'd never allowed myself to feel anything other than the physical part of sex, but with Clary I did, and now I'm paying for it.

She pushed me away like I was nothing, like what happened was nothing. It burns so deep and so big that there is no way to put out the flames. But the look on her face when I left said the opposite of what came out of her mouth. I didn't know why she was pushing me away, but there was a reason. I don't believe for one minute that reason is Kaelie, that's just the easy excuse, an excuse that should have been mine not hers. The one thing I've always banked on being a guy, is that, once I've physically been with someone it's enough to get them out of my system, and being with Clary only made me want more. I don't just want Clary physically. I want all of her.

"Jace! Oh, my God!" Kaelie gasps from the kitchen door. I look up to find her hand pressed to her lips and her eyes wide. She jogs to me and her body collides with mine, her arms wrap around my waist and she rests her head on my chest. "I was so worried. You didn't come home last night and your phone was going straight to voicemail." The voice in my head tells me to bring up my arms and hug her back, but I can't. I don't want to. Having her pressed up against me feels foreign and I don't like it. She doesn't smell the way I want; no…need her to smell; vanilla, cherry blossoms and mango. Three scents one would probably never put together, but it smells so good on Clary. "Are you OK? Where were you?"

"Clary took me out to show me more of the ranch and I helped her fix a broken fence post, but we got stuck in the storm and spent the night in a cabin her father built." My voice is flat, no feeling. It doesn't even sound like me. Kaelie looks up at me and frowns.

"You spent the night with her?" She pushes angrily. I'm in no mood to fight or be caught up in Kaelie's drama, whether warranted or not. I raise my brows and nod lazily like it was no big deal, just like Clary said. Kaelie's lips fall apart and she pushes away from me. "Where did you sleep?" She asks and presses her hands to her hips.

"I wouldn't call it sleeping, but I was on the couch." Kaelie cocks her head and a crease forms between her brows. "She was in the bedroom. It was a very uncomfortable couch." She doesn't need to know that the couch wasn't the reason I didn't sleep much. She doesn't need to know that Clary was there with me most of the night. She doesn't need to know that I would rather sleep on that God awful couch with Clary every night for the rest of my life than in the most comfortable bed ever made with her. Kaelie looks at me as if she's trying to decide whether or not to believe me and then her hands fall and she sighs.

"I'm just glad you're home," she smiles and hugs me again. I want to run. I want to leave this house and never come back, but I don't want to hurt Kaelie either. I didn't lie to Clary when I said I loved Kaelie, because I do. The problem is that I don't love her the way someone should love the person they are going to marry. I don't want to pick out a house with her, or furniture for said house. I don't want to discuss having children with her, or names for said children. In fact, I distinctly remember not wanting children at all after our flight here, but Clary makes me rethink that decision altogether. A distant image forms in the back of my mind; Clary's green eyes framed in a little round face with rosy cheeks and strawberry blond curls.

It's a blurry image, but it's clear enough to scare the shit out of me. I don't know if that image represents something I want or if it's there to tell me that Clary and I could create something beautiful together. Because if I were to be honest, next to Clary, it's the most beautiful face I've ever seen and it doesn't even exist. This reaffirms the fact that my mind is fucked and I need to sleep. I need to push this shit as deep down as I can and lock it away in the 'Fragile, Don't Touch,' box in my brain. "You smell horrible," Kaelie scrunches her nose at me.

"Yeah, I know," I sigh. "I'm going to take a shower and lie down for a while." Kaelie nods and I push my hands through my hair as I make my way upstairs. All I can think is, 'What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?' I've ruined myself. This feeling inside me is worse than anything I felt after losing my parents. I feel empty, like there's a gaping hole in my chest, and it's making it hard to breath. My heart isn't beating normally and my stomach won't settle. I turn the shower on as hot as it will go, but I don't feel the water scald my skin. I see the red patches it creates and shake my head. No physical pain will take away the ache inside.

My weeks fly by in a haze. My mind doesn't register one day from the next and I fall into a dull routine that's only broken by blips of conversation about wedding plans. Kaelie wants my opinion on everything and I give her nothing. If she can see a change in me, she doesn't address it. She's passive aggressive that way. If she doesn't acknowledge the problem it will go away on its own. I was hoping the same thing, but it's not going away. It's getting worse. Every day that I don't see Clary makes me more restless. I have to avoid going to bed the same time as Kaelie like the plague because it makes my skin crawl when she touches me.

It's a Friday late in June and it's been a month since I've that night with Clary. I haven't stopped at the bar in quite some time and since Kaelie and her mom went to look at dresses, I decided to go visit my old friend, Jack. Magnus beams at me with a wide smile when I walk in and has a Jack coke waiting for me by the time I hitch up to the bar. "Haven't seen ya in a while, Jace. How's everything going?" I down half the glass and then slowly meet his gaze as the liquor burns a path to my stomach.

"Fine," I answer and Magnus' smile falls.

"That good, huh?"

"Yup," I nod a few times, "That good."

"I thought I was going to have to mail your bill out, afraid you'd gotten cold feet and skipped town. But Alec reassured me that you were still showing up for work." I sniff a laugh.

"The best part of my day is showing up to work."

"Well, now you're starting to sound like me before I met Alec," he smiles again and rests his palms on the bar to hold his weight.

"It's a bit more exciting in the city than it is here. There's more to distract a person there," I say. He nods and looks around the bar.

"Yup, I know. I lived in the city once. There are also many more ways to get yourself in trouble in the city." His eyes travel past me to the door and I turn to see a bunch or girls walk in. I notice Alec's sister, Isabelle, a few more I have never met but know from seeing them around town, and Clary. She's wearing a yellow sun dress that buttons down the front and her brown boots. Her hair is its usual mess of curls held back by a headband, and she's smiling. She looks happy, as if she's unaffected by what happened between us, and that stings.

Clary and Isabelle are talking when they come into the bar and she doesn't notice me sitting there. I turn away to finish my drink and tap the bar to signal Magnus for another. When he pulls out the bottle I shake my head. I need something stronger. "Tequila, double shot." Magnus raises a brow but does as I ask.

"Just because there are more ways to get in trouble in the city doesn't mean there aren't plenty here as well," he says and his eyes dart to the crowd of women.

"I'm not looking for trouble," I murmur. "I'm looking for salvation." I down the shot, tip the empty glass over and push my other glass to him for a refill. Magnus shakes his head and leans into me after passing the full glass back across the bar.

"You can't say I didn't warn you."

"Your warning was given without explanation. Can't head a warning without cause of why."

"In my many years of bartending I have come to the conclusion that there are only two reasons a man will sit and drink himself into the bottom of a bottle; money problems, which given your current state of living, isn't an issue or the second is woman problems. A person less skilled than I in the art of people watching would think that you wouldn't have that problem either. But here you sit dull and lifeless, until she walked in the door." Magnus points to Clary and I fight not to turn and look.

"I don't even know which, 'She,' you're referring to."

"Yes you do. Your eyes lit up when you saw her. The exact same way Alexander's eyes light up when he sees her." My face contorts into something I would have no explanation for. I lean back on my stool and stare at Magnus like he's just lost his marbles, because I really think he has. I don't think he's been all there since the moment I met him. "Of course," Magnus continues and picks up a glass to wipe. "It's different for you than it is for him given his sexual preference, but it's all the same when you feel strongly for someone. Alexander loved Clary, _still_ loves Clary and will _always_ feel some type of love for Clary. That's why he lights up like a Christmas tree on Christmas morning when he sees her. Your eyes shine differently for her, like two lighthouse beacons guiding her home." Magnus sets the glass down and looks directly into my eyes. "What I'm getting at is, while Alec may love her and show the tell-tale signs of a person who loves her; you take it a step further. You're IN love with her. And that my friend, will get you into some serious trouble."

Magnus smirks like he just caught me with my hand in the cookie jar and I cross my arms over my chest. Before I can respond to his outrageous accusation one of the girls from the group bounces up to my side and smiles. "Hi, I'm Helen Blackthorn." Helen has pale blonde hair and pretty blue-green eyes. She's a dainty little thing with a cute smile and on any other day I would probably hit on her or joke around with her. This is not a normal day.

"Hello, Helen blackthorn. I'm Jace Herondale." I smile and nod. I try to keep my focus on Helen, but my gaze drifts on its own accord across the room to pinpoint Clary. I find her pinning a sash on Isabelle that says 'Bachelorette,' and then hugging her.

"So it seems that you're the cock in the hen house tonight," Helen pulls my attention back to her.

"Excuse me?" I blink rapidly and then hear Magnus chuckle. Helen smiles and an icy tingle rolls down my spine.

"Helen, you'll have to elaborate for our local City Boy here. He doesn't know anything about chickens." I stiffen when I hear Clary's voice behind me and Helen giggles. I don't turn right away. Instead I look at Magnus and he nods his head to tell me that she is in fact right behind me. I turn slowly until my eyes lock and get lost in the deep emerald of hers, and the ice melts. Clary smiles and it's a sweet soft smile. I've never seen this smile before and it makes the ache worse. "Hi," she whispers and cocks her head. I furrow my brow confused at her warm greeting. It was not expected and if seeing her happy wasn't enough to send me over the deep end, this was.

I avert my gaze back to Magnus and turn my stool forward. "Hi," I reply quickly and press the cold glass to my lips. I can't do this. Not here, not in front of other people. I hear Clary sigh and feel her stare leave me. Her hands come up and she fidgets.

"I haven't seen you around since the last time you were at the ranch," she looks at me again and I set the glass down. "How have you been?" I hang my head and scoff.

"I'm fine," I turn my head but don't meet her eyes. "Nothing's changed since the last time you saw me." Then I look up. Mistake. Her smile is sad. Her eyes show me pain and then she looks away. I know what she's doing. I've become very good at it myself. She's slipping the mask back on, hiding behind a façade that she's created for herself to get through the day. It's not an easy way to live, but sometimes it's the only way. I say the only thing that comes to mind, the only thing that we can both be allowed to share our feelings about.

"How's your dad?" She shakes her head and her response is cold.

"Same shit different day. He's alive, but that may not be the case in the morning." She nods at Magnus and he hands her a shot. She takes it without even a flinch and then says, "It was good to see you, Jace." A song blasts through the room and Clary walks away, disappearing into the crowd. Magnus shakes his head and hands me another Jack. While the night wears on I sit in loathing of my existence. I do manage to slow down on the Jack and stay just around the happy buzz feeling. I don't want to drink away Clary or the shit raging inside me. I just don't want to feel it as much.

The girls have moved tables out of the way and crowd the small makeshift dance floor. Hoots and hollers erupt making my ears ring when a song they like plays. The blond from earlier, Helen I think, pulls me off the stool and forces me to dance with her. It's fun and it seems to give me the peace I'd been searching for when I came to the bar in the first place. I've made it through a couple of songs, and a few different dance partners when a familiar figure slips between my hands. The fabric of the dress is softer and thinner than it looks. I can feel her pelvic bone through the pathetic excuse of a clothing she's wearing and my fingers dig in just like they did that night.

Her hair smells of vanilla and mangos instead of rain and her skin like cherry blossoms. Her head falls back and to the side exposing her neck and shoulder and all I want to do is press my lips against her soft skin. Clary's hand covers mine, just like that night, and guides it atop her stomach. I can feel the rise and fall of each breath she takes reminding me that she is real. It did happen, and that I miss her. "What the hell is going on here?" A shrill unwelcome voice breaks my train of thought. I look up to find an irate Kaelie standing in front of me and Clary. Our hands fall and we step away from each other. I hold my hands up to go on the defensive and then sigh and shake my head instead. "Well?" Kaelie pushes.

"Chill out, Kaelie. We were just dancing." Clary crosses her arms defiantly.

"That's not what it looked like to me." Kaelie takes a few steps forward and gets in Clary's face.

"Well, then what did it look like?" Clary's voice drops dangerously low and her eyes narrow.

"It looked like you were fucking on the dance floor." Kaelie is nothing if not blunt. I can't say that I'd disagree with her because any longer and we may have been doing just that.

"That'd be a little tough with our clothes on. Don't ya think? Oh! And don't forget to mention that I'm into public fornication. You know, beings that I'm such a whore and all."

"At least I didn't have to be the one to say it out loud," Kaelie hisses and I prepare myself for the blow. I'm waiting for Clary to go ape shit, but she doesn't. She simply smiles and bats her eyes.

"I'm not the one who cheated on my boyfriend with his best friend and blamed my best friend for the fall out. Maybe if you learned to keep your legs closed you wouldn't have as many issues. Now, tell me again who the whore is here." Clary cocks her head and plants her hands on hips. Kaelie's jaw falls and her eyes turn dark, murderous. I watch as everything happens in slow motion. Kaelie's hand comes up and then across in one swift motion. The crack of her hand meeting Clary's cheek startles even me. Clary's head jerks to the side and her hands come up automatically to cover her face.

I'm stunned and silence fills the room. Izzy somehow appeared at Clary's side and is staring daggers into Kaelie. Clary's gaze snaps back and her nostrils flare. She's breathing hard and when she drops her hands I can see the bright pink spot on her face where Kaelie's hand made impact. Clary lunges, but Izzy gets her arms around her waist before she can reach Kaelie and I hear her whisper, "Clary it's not worth it," before tugging her away. I grab hold of Kaelie, separating her and Clary more, and pull her outside.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" I yell.

"Me?" she yells back. "What's the matter with me? You didn't see what I saw."

"You saw me dancing with a girl. She's not the only girl I danced with. Good God," I rake my hands through my hair and sigh. "Would you have acted like that if it were anybody else?" I already know the answer to that question and I don't want to be out here fighting with Kaelie over something stupid. I want to be inside with Clary. I want to be the one telling her it's going to be OK while holding ice up to her cheek. Kaelie stares at me angrily with her arms crossed, but doesn't respond. "Go home Kaelie." I finally say. Her arms fall as well as her jaw and I turn back to the bar.

"Where are you going?" I walk half way back to her and point my finger at her.

"You just assaulted her, Kaelie. I'm going to go in and make sure she's alright and you better hope she doesn't press charges. You have a whole bar full of witnesses that will testify to the fact that you instigated a fight. Now GO. HOME!" I turn away before she can say anything and I immediately find Clary amidst the group the group of girls. She's sitting in a booth with Isabelle and the other girls part like the Red Sea for me, but Izzy doesn't move. I clear my throat and they both look up at me.

"Can I sit?" I ask Izzy and she turns to Clary for the OK. Clary nods and Izzy scoots out of the booth glaring at me. She stands in my way and throws a finger in my face.

"I don't know what the hell is going on, but you had better fucking fix it before I kill your fiancé myself," she whispers.

"Iz, stop it," Clary says. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"Clary…" Izzy starts, but Clary shakes her head and Izzy stalks off. Magnus comes up next to me with a rag full of ice and holds it out for me with a smile.

"Here ya go, handsome."

"Thanks," I drawl and slide into the booth. Clary stares at me like I've grown another head and I use my thumb to gently push her chin forward and press the ice to her cheek. She sucks in a breath through her teeth and I think I hear a curse or two come out.

"Are you alright?" I murmur. Clary nods and glances at me.

"I'll live. It's just my face." She sighs and relaxes. "You shouldn't be here," she whispers. "It'll just make it worse."

"I'm exactly where I want to be," I murmur. "And I happen to like your face, so shut up and hold still." I run my thumb along her jaw line and goose bumps riddle the skin on her chest and arms. She starts to laugh and then groans when it hurts to smile and I chuckle at her. This moment won't change anything, and she's right that it won't make it better, but it's something we both needed.

* * *

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LivyBug


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